Page 38 of Wish You Knew
“Punching, mate, absolutely punching.” Bas pushed his way into my room and slumped down on the bed. “How the hell did you pull her?”
Sebastian Rafferty: almost as much of a man whore as me, which was saying something. Although just year younger, he was at least as much trouble. Not to mention competition. Despite me being the more famous relative, he usually ended up with the girl if we happened to be interested in the same one. As far as I could tell, when he wasn’t dabbling in the modelling world, he ponced about in clubs pretending to be a promoter or something and sponged off his mother. With his razor-sharp cheekbones and blond hair, he never appeared to be short of jobs when he needed them. The product of Vivian’s third, and happiest, marriage, he was her only child. And boy, didn’t he act like it.
“None of your business.”
“You two are exclusive though? Serious? I wouldn’t want to waste my time.” He gave me a wink.
Suddenly, I was the grown up, not a feeling I was used to around Bas. “We’re…” I ground to a halt. I honestly didn’t know what we were. Last night was everything I’d wanted, and then some. But we hadn’t had the opportunity to discuss what the next step was. Logically, it pointed to something more serious, but I didn’t know if Rosie wanted the same.
“Mum’s probably already talking to her about engagement parties and weddings.”
Vivian had taken Rosie into the village for afternoon tea. I suspected it would involve more gin than tea, but who was I to say otherwise? The two of them spending time together alone made me nervous. I’d never introduced any of my girlfriends to my family before. For all I knew, by the time Vivian had finished regaling Rosie with tales from my childhood, she may not want anything to do with me.
“I’d appreciate it if you didn’t try and make a move on her.” I stared at my reflection in the mirror as I said the words, meaning every single one of them. I didn’t want Bas - or anyone else - touching her, thinking about her, lusting after her. I wanted all of those things for myself.
“Shame.” Bas slapped a hand against his thigh. “Don’t suppose you want to go into town tonight then? Get into a club?”
I couldn’t think of anything I’d like less. The past couple of days, chilling out here, had calmed my restless streak. The thought of being around crowds of other people, brought me out in hives.
“Not tonight, mate.”
“Got a hot date with blondie?” He waggled his eyebrows. “Taking her down the pub again?”
I tossed a wet towel at his head. “Fuck off.”
Honestly, I didn’t know what we would do. My head buzzed with inspiration again, and I wanted to get more lyrics down. But I also wanted to spend time with Rosie. Quality time, not just exploring every inch of her body, although that would be acceptable too.
Then my aunt and cousin had turned up and skewed the dynamics.
There hadn’t been a plan. I hadn’t invited Rosie here to end up in a relationship with her. She needed a break from London and all the shit she’d been through. I had simply offered her a retreat. Anything else was a bonus.
Emotions really were turning out to be a total headfuck.
Not knowing if you know…
How I feel…
Is killing me…
Adjust my reality…
Make this real for me…
I sang the words over and over, trying to find the right cadence. It wasn’t happening. I was trying too hard. Trying to make it the epic Trash Gun song to stand on a level withWasted By My Side. Initially, I’d tried it as a power ballad, knowing Declan would be able to create an awesome riff for the bridge - Slash style fromNovember Rain. It didn’t work. Next, I’d amped it up. Tried to make it something everyone could jump around to. Absolutely fucking not. Finally, I grabbed the acoustic again, slowed the whole thing down, and strummed some softer chords.
Instantly, I knew I’d nailed it.
Wastedpaled into insignificance beside this. Once I’d decided on a title, it would be perfect.
I grabbed my phone and recorded the chorus, knowing the sound quality of an Apple device wouldn’t necessarily do it justice. Then I sent the clip to Declan, Mat and Bobby. No message, no explanation.
Then I waited.
Mat: what the fuck is this, man???
Bobby: where the hell did this come from??
Declan: I can already hear the bridge
