Page 59 of Wish You Knew
Avoiding his gaze, I shook my head. It would have been so much easier to get him to think that and I wasn’t verging on an alcohol and weed problem. For years, I’d teetered on the brink of something more damaging, but always managed to pull myself back before I fell too hard.
“How are you, Scott?” Mat’s head bowed as he asked so he could meet my gaze.
We didn’t often do emotion or feelings. More often than not, it was a slap on the back or a joke or something which didn’t require us to acknowledge what was really going on. For Mat to actually ask the question directly must have meant he was really worried about me. If I carried on down this self-destructive path, he would probably have every right to.
“I’m fine, really.” I forced the words out, knowing every one of them was a lie.
“You’re not though, are you?” Mat gestured around the room. “This isn’t normal behaviour, even for you. In the past, when you’ve taken yourself out of the picture and gone to your Mum’s house, you’ve come back full of inspiration and energy. Sure, we got the songs, but something’s missing. What’s happened?”
The realisation I love Rosie Tatton is what’s happened.
“Nothing. I spent a bit of time with Rosie, my aunt and my cousin. We had fun.” I lifted the beer bottle to my mouth and tipped the contents down my throat.
Mat twisted his own bottle around in his hands. “Sorry, mate. I don’t believe a word of it. Something happened there. Did you fall out with your family or something?”
He was so far off the mark, it was untrue. Although I should have torn into Bas for going ahead with the shoot with Rosie. Even though she’d treated me to a sneak preview of the original shots, seeing the finished version - where Bas had his hands all over her - made me unreasonably jealous. It seemed I couldn’t look at any form of social media without their faces, and Rosie’s tits, being plastered all over it. Which made me want to do bad things.
I stretched out my neck and waved the USB stick at him. “Am I going to be blown away by the content on this?”
“Course you are, mate. Would you expect anything less?” Mat grinned. “But stop changing the subject. “Look, when we last talked, when you were at the studio, I suspected something was going on. You brushed me off then, but I’m not leaving until you tell me the truth.”
Shit. Mat had a stubborn streak much like mine, and if he said he wasn’t leaving, I’d be stuck with him until I told him something he believed. Aside from Bas, he was my best mate. We hadn’t been in a band all these years for me to fob him off with something which had the potential to change the course of my life. Of our life, if I thought about it.
Draining the rest of my beer and opening another bottle, I let out a hard breath. “Truth is, there is nothing going on with me and Rosie. Which is pretty much the problem, because I think I’m in love with her.”
A loud whistle filled the room. “Shit, man! I knew there was something strong between you two, but I had no idea!”
“There’s one slight snag though. She has absolutely no idea.” I dragged a hand through my still damp hair. “And I’m so fucking gutless, I haven’t been able to tell her.”
“No wonder you’ve been off your game.” Mat shook his head. “Wait until I tell the others.”
“No.” My tone was firm. “I don’t want anyone else knowing.” I sighed. “At least not until I’ve plucked up the courage to tell her and found out how she feels about me. For all I know, it’s a one-way crush.”
“Unlikely. I’ve seen the way she looks at you. Not seen her since Brixton, but her eyes never left you throughout that whole gig.”
Mentally, I face palmed myself. If only I’d noticed on the night, instead of ending up in some bar. I should have gone out with Rosie and Saff.
“For once in my life, I don’t know what to do.”
Mat slapped me on the shoulder. “You’ll work it out, Scott. You always do.”
This time, I wasn’t so sure.
30
Rosie
“Trust you to have a room in the hotel, even though you only live ten minutes away.”
I raised an eyebrow. Saff hadn’t objected too much when I said she and Tris could use it as a base for the evening. It had come as a surprise when Saff had told me Vivian had invited her to the dinner as well. I didn’t know they knew each other, but she had mentioned Jonas and the record company were also involved in the charity.
“It’s something you’d do, Saff. So people in glass houses…” Tris let his jibe trail off.
He looked gorgeous in his tuxedo, even if he complained every two minutes that the collar was too tight and that he couldn’t breathe. Saff had chosen a black lace, gothic inspired number with a tight pencil skirt that ended just below her knees. I’d gone all out on the sparkle: a gold sequinned mini dress, with a high neckline and hit mid-thigh, but when I turned, it was backless, the drape of the fabric dipping right to the curve of my arse. From the front, fairly prim and proper, and daring and reckless from behind.
Since seeing Vivian, the previous week, we’d got into the routine of chatting almost every other day. She hadn’t pressed me to confront Scott, and I hoped that subject was now closed. When I’d suggested bringing a date, she’d brushed it off with a comment about limited ticket availability. I wondered if she was trying to set me up with Bas instead.
When we got to our table, which was front and centre, it didn’t surprise me to find I was seated next to him, with Tris on my other side. As I circled the table, seeing who else was sitting with us, I froze when I saw Scott’s name on the place directly opposite mine.
