Page 59 of Wish You Once More
But that was my reality and I had to face up to it, whatever the consequences.
When we arrived at the station, we walked over to the taxi rank. Although I always felt normal when I came home, I never got used to how people treated me differently just because I was in a band. The taxi driver couldn’t do enough for us, leaping out of the driver’s seat to take our bags and putting them in the boot, making sure the aircon was on, asking if we wanted the radio turned down. All I wanted to do was get back to Bree’s place and work out what to do next.
It seemed strange not going to Jonny and Melinda’s place. I waited while she unlocked the door.
“Mat! How are you doing? I heard about your dad. So sorry, mate.” Kelvin from The JRs crossed the road to talk to me.
Even though I’d expected to have people stop me, I hadn’t prepared myself for the rush of emotion which threatened to overwhelm me.
“I’m okay.”
“Jonny’s a fucking mess. I’ve never seen him so cut up.”
I bit my tongue against saying something along the lines ofwhat did you expect, our dad just died. We’ve never dealt with anything like this before—a vague echo of the past hit me unexpectedly, us holding Dad’s hands as people stopped us in the street. Funny the things you forget as a child.Now I understood that not everyone knew what to say at a time like this. Hell, I didn’t even know what I was going to say when I saw my brother.
“Thanks, Kelvin.” I nodded.
He frowned. “What are you doing here? Why aren’t you at the house?”
Given that Jonny probably hadn’t told many people about our row, I didn’t want to air our dirty laundry in public. “Bree and I got back together, so it made more sense for me to stay here.”
I could feel Bree’s gaze on me as I spoke. Silently, she took our bags inside, leaving me alone with Kelvin.
“That’s great news!” Kelvin slapped me on the arm. “Don’t know why you two broke up in the first place.”
“Me either. Hoping second time will be the one.” I glanced around behind me. Bree had left the door open and I was desperate for a piss. “Look, I’m sure I’ll see you around, Kelvin.”Probably at the funeral,I added silently.
He gave me a wave and walked away. I went inside and found Bree in the living room. Her arms were crossed over her chest.
“Did you mean what you said down there?” she asked, eyes searching mine. “That we’re back together?”
“Is that what you want?” I didn’t want to force her into something because of the situation we found ourselves in. I didn’t want her to feel obligated to me. I didn’t want her to feel sorry for me.
She sucked in her lower lip. “I didn’t come to Manchester for the fun of it. I mean, it’s a nice city and has some pretty cool memories for me.”
“Why did you come?”
“To make things better.”
I closed the distance between us and wrapped my arms around her. She shifted her body to mould to mine, like we were magnets, unable to repel each other any longer. I kissed the top of her head.
“God, Bree, you always make things better.”
“Oh good, you’re home.”
Our moment was fractured by Callie’s arrival. She joined us in the centre of the room and wrapped her arms around the both of us. It was a strangely comforting gesture, particularly when she didn’t ask how either of us were. After a few moments, the three of us drew apart.
“What do you want to eat? We could go out? Or order in?” Callie glanced hopefully between Bree and me.
I glanced at the clock on the wall. Shortly after five. Jonny and Melinda would definitely be at home. There seemed little point in putting off the inevitable.
“Maybe later, thanks, Callie. I should go and see my brother.”
“Do you want me to come with you?” asked Bree.
Having her with me would give me the extra strength I needed, but I didn’t want to completely expose myself if I broke down. I didn’t know how my arrival would be received by Jonny.
“Not now. I think I need to do this one on my own.”
