Page 60 of Wish You Once More
She reached out and touched my arm. “If you’re sure?”
I wasn’t, not one little bit. But I didn’t want her to be there if things kicked off and I couldn’t calm them back down.
“I am.” I pulled her towards me and kissed her thoroughly, as though I might never kiss her again. “I’ll be back later.”
Walking through town to get to Jonny’s place took me longer than I thought. I’d been stopped every so often by a mournful well-wisher, recounting how sorry they were about Dad, how they hoped Jonny and I were okay, and to let them know if we needed anything. Mechanically, and politely, I answered. Each encounter made me more and more anxious about getting to Jonny’s.
By the time I stood at the front door, I almost turned around and walked straight back to Bree’s. As I was about to do exactly that, the door opened.
“Mat!” Melinda threw herself into my arms, fresh sobs spilling out of her. “I’m so glad you’re here.”
I suspected Jonny may not have the same reaction.
“Come in, come in.” She ushered me inside, swiping the tears away with the sleeve of her cardigan. “Jonny’s just putting Henry to bed.”
“How’s he doing?”
“He’s too young to know exactly what’s going on. Keeps asking where Grandad is.”
The corner of my mouth quirked in spite of the situation. “I meant Jonny.”
Melinda let out a weak giggle. “Sorry, yes, of course you did.”
“Someone talking about me?” Jonny’s footsteps on the stairs caused me to look up at my older brother.
Although I’d only seen him a few days ago, there seemed to be new lines around his eyes, puffy bags underneath them, a tired air about him. Given he would have been the one dealing with everything, I shouldn’t have been surprised.
Melinda shuffled awkwardly between us. “Um, I’ll just go and check on Henry.”
“Babe, he’s fine. Went out like a light,” said Jonny.
She tilted her head. “I thought I heard him call out.” Without another word, she shot off up the stairs.
Jonny and I stood in the hallway, staring at each other, as if neither of us knew what to say. I didn’t know where to start, wanting to clear the air between us, so we were able to grieve properly.
“About time you came home,” Jonny said.
“I’m sorry I wasn’t here.” I dragged a hand over my jaw, even saying the words choked me up.
“I’m sorry I told you to go.” My brother mirrored my movement, his voice cracking.
“What happened? At the end?”
Jonny closed his eyes. “We weren’t there. He told us to go home and get some rest, that there wasn’t anything else we could do at the hospital. ‘No point in all three of us being bored and miserable’were his exact words.” The tiniest of laughs escaped him. “The next we heard was a call from the ward sister telling us he’d gone. Apparently he suffered another huge attack and this time his heart couldn’t hack it.”
I hated to think of my father in pain at the end of his life. He didn’t deserve that.
“They said it would have been quick and he likely wouldn’t have known anything about it,” Jonny went on. “There was nothing they could have done to predict it happening.”
Silence fell as we both got lost in our own thoughts.
“Do you want a drink or something?” Jonny pointed towards the living room. “We should talk. There are things we need to arrange and agree on.”
“Doesn’t bode well,” I joked, trying to lighten the mood.
We went into the living room and I perched on the edge of the armchair while Jonny went to the kitchen to get some drinks. He came back with two tumblers full of whisky and handed one to me before taking a seat on the sofa.
“To Dad,” he said, toasting the other armchair which had typically been Dad’s favourite.
