Page 85 of Kiss Me Ever After
We weren’t too different; we completed each other.
Lennon was my everything.
I couldn’t let her go to New York without a fight.
* * *
Later that evening,when I told Sonya I was going out, I sensed her hesitation. I promised her I was going nowhere near Ted, but I needed some time to clear my head. I hadn’t told anyone about Lennon’s message.
After walking aimlessly around town for an hour, I ended up at the park. I sat on the bench I had with Candace not that long ago, watching the few groups who had chosen to spend the evening there. I envied their carefree enjoyment. The past twenty-four hours hung heavy. I was sure I was physically healing, thanks in part to the strong painkillers, but my head was well and truly shot.
Candace and her lies.
Lennon and her truths.
I’d been so wrapped up in doing the right thing, I’d neglected the person Ireallyloved.
I had to hope it wasn’t too late.
On the way back to the Kane’s, I stopped at the supermarket and picked up a bottle of whisky. I was pretty sure I still owed Alex one, and right now, I was desperate for a drink, despite what the warnings on my meds said.
My phone vibrated in my pocket.
Candace: Justin, talk to me, I’m sorry. I got this whole thing wrong. Can we still be friends? Please? X
I shoved the phone back into my jeans without bothering to respond. As if she could think I’d want anything to do with her. She needed help.
The walk home took me past the Blue Goose. I sat on the bench opposite, in almost exactly the same place I had at the start of the summer. Pulling the bottle from the bag, I unscrewed the cap and drank, staring dead ahead of me at the cafe. Each pull brought back a memory.
The first time I’d seen Lennon when she came back.
Rescuing her from the teenage thugs.
Talking about the incident to the police.
Going back to Lennon’s house.
Being with her for the first time.
Spending the summer with her.
Candace and her fucking baby lies.
Lennon leaving.
Ted’s beating.
Perhaps I shouldn’t have drunk so much on an empty stomach and on meds. I felt queasy, my vision blurring, the cafe coming in and out of focus.
I let out a frustrated scream as I finished the bottle and threw the empty vessel in the cafe’s direction. It smashed on the kerb outside, not even reaching its intended target.
Struggling to focus, I pulled my phone out. I squinted as I looked for Lennon’s number and dialled. It rang several times, and I imagined her staring at my name, wondering whether to answer. When the call went to voicemail, I guess I had my response.
We shouldn’t be communicating like this, leaving each other heartfelt messages.
We needed to talk in person, but she was fucking hundreds of miles away and I could barely stand, let alone get on a train.
“Lennon, where are you?” I slurred. “I need you. Not this fucking sham of a relationship Candace forced me into.You. This summer was the best summer of my life, right until you walked out on me. I don’t blame you; I know what it looked like, but none of it ended up being true.” I realised what I was saying didn’t exactly make sense, but I needed to get the words out. “Every day without you has been torture, not worth living. And maybe if you don’t come back, that would be the best answer, because I don’t want to be without you anymore. I don’t want to live in the darkness I’ve created, I want you to be here to bring me the light.” As I spoke, I peeked up at the stars in the sky, burning brightly. I picked the brightest one and made a wish—the wish which would bring Lennon back.
