Page 13 of When We Fell Again
I can’t do it to Lex.
Dragging myself away from her, I turned my attention back to Alison. “You know what? I’m on stage in a bit. Maybe a pint of orange juice?”
The young girl smiled. “Of course. Whatever you want. It’s all on the house.” She turned away to get my drink. “Your rider’s all set up in the back area anyway. Your tour manager wanted to make sure there was no alcohol there, so I thought I’d offer you the option.”
A couple of moments later, she passed me the pint glass filled with fruit goodness and I dutifully downed half, wishing there was vodka in it.
“There you are.” Levi and the others appeared. “Thought we’d lost you.”
“That a virgin cocktail?” joked Robbie. He grinned at Alison. “All right, love? Couldn’t trouble you for a pint, could I?”
“Given that Lex has got us a clean rider, you’d best make the most of this before the gig,” I said, gesturing towards Lex and Claudia.
The other three followed my gaze, and I watched their reactions closely. Out of them all, Levi and Jude had been the closest to Lex and knew exactly what had gone on in the breakdown of our relationship. Robbie knew the bare bones of what had happened with us in the past, and I didn’t feel like rehashing all of that now.
But it seemed Lex didn’t feel the same as she stalked towards the bar, Claudia closely following her.
An awkward silence descended as she reached us, no one wanting to speak first. Eventually, it was Levi who broke the deadlock.
“Lex. How are you?” he asked, his tone even.
She didn’t even bother to answer him, staring straight at me. “Have you got your painkillers? I believe I’m meant to hold onto them during the tour.”
I winced at the way she spoke to me, any hints of our shared history non-existent. “They’re in my bag.”
“Great. Then you can hand them over.”
It was like my mum had caught me with cigarettes at the age of fourteen all over again. I resented the fact Lex treated me like a child, even though deep down I knew it was all for the good of the tour. But I’d make her work for it. Pointing in the vague direction of a pile of luggage at the other end of the hall, I gave a lazy smile. “They’re in there.”
“Are you going to give me more of a clue?”
“I could, but we’ve got to soundcheck now, so I think it’s more important for me to do that, don’t you?” I tilted my head to one side and lifted my chin in challenge.
“Jordan,” hissed Levi. “Don’t be a dick.”
I sucked in a breath, my tongue clamped between my teeth. “It’s the grey sports bag. They’re in the right pocket in the front. Fill your boots.”
Lex gave me a tight smile. “Thank you. I’ll be back to check on things before the show.” Then she turned and walked away, giving me ample opportunity to admire her arse encased in tight skinny black jeans.
Levi elbowed me in the ribs. “Well, isn’t this just going to be one hot ride?”
I couldn’t help where my mind went at his comment. But it was history, and I had to make peace with the present.
One of the sound engineers came over. “Right, you guys ready?”
This was it.
Idol Rev were back in business.
A couple of hours later, pacing around the tiny area beside the stage, my emotions were all over the place. The phrase reverberating around my brain said,I can’t fucking do this.
First gig with the band in over a year.A year since the incident with Dexter.
First gig with Lex watching in fuck knew how long.
I didn’t know which one bothered me more. Being back on stage, performing with my mates, should have been second nature to me. Everything we’d worked so hard for and almost lost had become reality again.
Come on, Jordan. You’ve got this.
