Page 66 of When We Fell Again
For a few hours, I’d managed to forget about Lex and the situation with Arlo. Doing something as normal and mundane as going down the pub to shoot some pool had taken my mind off it. But with Felix reminding me of all the women who should be falling at my feet just because I was in a band, my stomach knotted once again.
Surreptitiously, I pulled my phone from my pocket and held it under the table, squinting at the screen.
Lex: I miss you too, but you were right to stay away x
I let out a hard breath, wanting to talk to Lex now more than ever, but knowing it would be difficult.
“I need a piss,” I announced to no one in particular. I stood up, a little unsteady after all the alcohol on an empty stomach. The beer and conversation had flowed freely between us, the money we’d won at pool going down with every round bought. Perhaps we could get a pizza on the way home.
“I’ll get another round in,” said Felix. “On me this time. And maybe some snacks?”
“Good plan.” I made my way to the toilets and headed into a cubicle. Once I’d had a piss, I tried to call Lex. I zipped my fly, flushed, then unlocked the door to be met with the sight of Felix bent over the sink. “You okay, buddy?”
He straightened up, the rolled-up twenty-pound note in his right hand a dead giveaway. Lying on the surface was a piece of foil with what looked like a bump of coke left. He blinked, then rubbed a hand across his nose. “Just peachy, man.” A smile split his face, reminding me of someone from my past. He offered me the note. “Want some?”
I swallowed down the memories his seemingly innocent question prompted. “I, er, don’t really do drugs.”Anymore.
Felix cocked his head. “Really? The rock star saying no? You do surprise me.”
“It’s not that.” I hesitated, not wanting to give away my entire history to someone I’d met a couple of hours ago.
He slapped me on the upper arm. “No biggie. It’s not for everyone, I know.” Turning back to the sink, he wrapped up the remains of the cocaine in the foil. Tapping the package, he gave me a knowing look. “If you change your mind, though.” Then he headed into the cubicle I’d vacated.
My gaze focused on the small, square wrap.It would be so easy to pocket it and disappear.I doubted I would ever see Felix again, and he’d all but encouraged me to take it.
“I’m going to be a while, mate.” Felix’s voice floated over the top of the cubicle door. “Why don’t you go and get the beers in?”
If that wasn’t the absolute permission I needed.
“Sure thing.” All I had to do was walk away. I didn’t need it any longer, I’d been clean for ages, and I didn’t hang around with people who did it either.
Heading towards the door, my hand hovered over the handle.
I twisted my head and looked over my shoulder at the tiny foil wrap lying not-so-innocently on the sink, taunting me.
Once wouldn’t hurt, though, would it? A little slip to help me cope with the stress of Lex being away and in the presence of that prick, Arlo. A little slip to help me forget about everything for a little while. If I did take it, I wouldn’t have touseit unless I really needed to. It would be therein case I needed it.
The sound of someone approaching the door made my decision for me, and I stepped back towards the sink, swiping the wrap and stuffing it in the front pocket of my jeans. My heart pounding, I headed back into the bar, nodding at the guy coming into the toilets.
Levi was talking to Marcus and Brendan, the glasses on the table empty. I went over to them.
“I think I’m going to head off,” I said. “I want to try and talk to Lex tonight.”
“Good idea. I should get going too,” agreed Levi. “We’ve got to be back in the studio tomorrow. Say goodbye to Felix for us.”
“Yeah, please do.”
We left the pub and made the short walk home, neither of us speaking. Jude and Robbie weren’t around when we got in and the house was quiet. Levi went to the fridge and got another beer before settling down in front of the television, putting on a football match. I wasn’t in the mood for the game.
“I’m going to head up and see if Lex is around.”
“Sure. I hope you get to sort things out.” Levi raised his bottle to me, his gaze not leaving the screen.
I got a glass of water from the tap and went upstairs, making sure my door was firmly shut behind me.
Sitting down on the floor, my back rested against my bed, shielding me if anyone should come in, I pulled the wrap out of my pocket and dropped it onto the floor in front of me.
The silver foil glinted in the low light of the bedside table, mocking me.
