Page 19 of You Had Me At Annyeong!
‘Yeah, she might be a great fit. It only just occurred to me. Let me connect you guys and you take it from there?’
With that, Bhaskar hangs up and finally lights his cigarette. Blowing out smoke rings, he gently pats Timira on her head.
‘Are you pimping me? What sort of racket are you running? Does Alice know? ALICE!!!!!!’
Timira, in mock shock, runs back inside the café and knocks Alice’s drink over even as she attempts to duck behind her. ‘Your husband is trying to pimp me off!’ she wails to Alice who is now looking at Bhaskar with curious eyes and trying hard to suppress a smile.
‘Abbe,sunn toh le, drama queen!’
‘Yes, Tim. Let’s give him a chance to explain. I’m on your side, in any case, don’t you worry.’
‘Thanks, wife.Haan, so Ryan had called to discuss moving his folks to Cali to be with him …’
Ryan? Ryan who? Ooooh, Bhaskar mentioned his wedding. Ryan, Ryan … Aaaaah, of course! Ewww. Why is he pimping me to him? Eww!Timira now recalls having been introduced to Bhaskar’s lanky, prominently pockmarked, reeking of expensive cologne, and desperately-in-need-of-manners-and-a-haircut university coursemate. The one whose accent changes in every country. She remembers rolling her eyes at his relentless show of clout andtu-nahin-janta-mera-baap-kaun-hai.
‘… so I thought of Tim and suggested they connect …’
‘Huh, what? Thought of me for what?’ Timira demanded to know. Lost in trying to place Ryan, she had missed out on the backstory that Bhaskar had only just painstakingly narrated.
‘Freelance job. Publicity and media relations. University degree in English. Senior position. Activewear label. Three-month assignment. Great pay,’ Bhaskar quickly summarizes, with special emphasis on ‘great pay’ before adding ‘in Seoul’ in what sounds almost like a whisper.
‘IN SEOUL?!’ Both Timira and Alice cry out in unison.
‘How does the location even matter? It’s a short-term project. The company is owned by one of Ryan’s clients. The money is great! And, hey, Seoul is a fab city, okay? Don’t go hurting Alice’s sentiments now …’ Bhaskar trails off, casting a sideways glance at his very-American-but-proud-of-her-Korean-heritage wife.
‘Yeah, I’m sure it’s great. That’s why Alice’s grandparents migrated to the States and grew corn on a farm in the middle of nowhere!’ Timira snaps back. Alice is wondering whether this should offend her, and while she mulls over it, Timira marches on.
‘I don’t know the language. Why do they even want a foreigner to handle media relations? I can’t read or write Korean, I have no contacts in the media there.’
‘Maybe they have a database that they’re willing to share, I don’t know, man! Ryan said they primarily need someone with great command over English and with industry experience of over 10 years. Perhaps they’re looking for someone to interact with the foreign media?’
‘But it’s always raining there. You know, it snows so much that people sometimes die. Even at home. It’s THAT cold! The women are so slim and pretty. I’ll feel like a giant turd among them. They will make fun of my pimples; have you seen their skin? Have you noticed YOUR WIFE’S skin?? They won’t give me a visa with this face. It’s so cold. I’ll miss you and Alice. Why do you want to get rid of me?’
It was, perhaps, the gallons of alcohol that had disappeared inside the pit of Timira’s stomach since the afternoon that was now talking, but she was now unexpectedly emotional and on the verge of tears.
Alice, with the thought of getting offended by Timira’s borderline xenophobic allegations now firmly thrown into thetrash can, wraps an arm around Timira. But she shrugs it off and wails.
‘It’s RIGHT NEXT TO JAPAN, the root of all my pain. It should be renamed JaPAIN! I AM NOT GOING!’
There was no coming back from this. No way to win this game. If this were a game of tennis, Timira had won it to love.If only she would also win in love …Bhaskar rues regretfully and ruffles Timira’s hair. She is now stifling sobs and pushing back tears.
‘Nobody is going anywhere. We’re ordering more drinks and getting wasted. Tim, shots and karaoke?’ Alice tries to lighten the atmosphere.
The rest of the evening is a blur, like most evenings when the Three Musketeers decide to go all in.
* * *
Alice draws the curtains aside to watch the grey sky turn pink as she sips on water, when she catches a glimpse of a pair of space buns making their way towards the beach. She knows the owner of the buns, and out of habitual concern, rings her number. One call, two calls. Three. They all go unanswered. Panicking, she runs out. After frantically checking every possible hideout, she finally locates her. Timira is sitting by the sea and singing out aloud without a care in the world. ‘Hold me closer, tiny dancer … count the headlights on the highway …’
Smiling half in relief and half with motherly affection, Alice walks back to her room.
* * *
Alice is still asleep and Bhaskar is walking around in circles inside their room in his bathrobe, toothpaste and toothbrush creating a sea of foam inside his mouth, when somebodythreatens to break down their door with their forceful and incessant banging, waking Alice up in the process.
‘Get the door before they break it down, Bhaskar!’
Bhaskar opens the door, foam now effortlessly flowing out of the corners of his mouth, to find Timira. Raccoon eyes, space buns now looking more spaced-out than ever, wearing Mickey Mouse pyjamas, she smiles at Bhaskar like he’s her most favourite person in the world.
