Page 185 of Tower of Ash and Darkness
Casper leans forward, his elbows resting on his knees as his voice lowers, almost a growl.
"What if it’s not the past holding us back, Lailah? What if it’s us holding onto it because we’re afraid of what happens if we let it go?"
My brows draw together, the feeling of shame crashing into me like a tide I didn’t see coming.
"I don’t know how to let go."
"You don’t have to," he says, his voice steady. "But I will. I’ll carry it with you, even if it breaks me."
I look away, swallowing hard. The vulnerability in his voice is too much.
"Casper…"
"I’m not asking for anything," he says, his resolve firm. "Not now. But understand this—I’ll wait. No matter how long it takes, no matter how much it costs me. I’ll shoulder it, but I won’t walk away."
He pauses, his gaze steady. "Not fromyou."
The finality leaves me breathless, and all I can hear is the fire crackling and the distant sound of the river. I press my hands into the dirt, trying to ground myself, to steady the chaos in my heart.
"Don’t promise me things like that," I whisper, my voice breaking.
"Why not?" he asks, leaning closer. "Because you think I won’t keep them? Or because you’re afraid I will?"
It’s a truth I can’t deny anymore. I seehim. In this moment—his past, the woman who raised him, the legacy she left behind. I see the weight he carries because of her, the violence carved into him like memory. And I understand, with aching clarity, that we are both forged in fire we didn’t start. Maybe that’s why I crave him so much—because he understands the burn. Because even when he offers me a choice, I already know I’ll choose him. I want him. Gods help me, I want him like I’ve never wanted anything safe.
Casper’s hands find my face, firm but gentle, tilting my chin until I’m forced to meet his eyes.
“Look at me,” he says, voice low and steady. “I’m yours, Lailah.”
Before I can speak, he leans in and kisses me. The kiss isn’t soft. It’s desperate—fierce and possessive, like he’s trying to brand the truth into my bones. His lips claim me as his hands pull me closer, and I fall willingly into the heat of it. The world narrows to the taste of him, the feeling of his mouth moving against mine with unrelenting hunger, with need that says we are no longer separate beings, but one. My body melts into his, trembling.
"Casper..."
He doesn’t answer. He doesn’t need to. The way his hands grip my hips—tight, possessive, as though he's staking a silent claim—says more than words ever could. There’s a hunger in him, as if he’s been starving for this and now that he has it, he’s terrified to let it go. He draws me into his lap with a fluid pull, our bodies aligning like a memory—familiar, inevitable.
I sink down onto him slowly, my thighs sliding around his, trapping him beneath me. Every part of him is tense beneath my touch, coiled with restraint so taut I can feel it emanating from him. He’s not human and yet his body responds to me like a man possessed. His heartbeat, deep and ancient, thunders beneath my palms, dark and wild and completely mine.
His lips crash against mine like he’s breathing me in, like he’sdrowning and I’m the only air he’ll ever need. I gasp against him, fingers tangled in his hair, and his answering growl rumbles through both of us, reverent and ruinous all at once.
“Lailah…”
My name slips from his lips like a confession, his voice rough and ragged with need. The sound sears itself into my skin as his hands roam over me, slow and reverent, as if my body is the only thing that’s ever made sense to him.
A soft sound slips from my throat, unbidden, as I roll my hips against him, the friction setting fire to something deep and low in my belly. My fingers thread into his hair, pulling him closer, grounding myself in the way his mouth devours mine—hot and unrelenting, like I’m the only thing keeping him tethered to the earth. His name tumbles from my lips again as I wrap my arms tighter around his neck. There’s no space between us now, no air, no thought. Only heat. Only want.
He doesn’t speak. He doesn’t have to. One hand slides down with maddening control, unfastening his trousers and freeing himself with a shuddering breath. His cock presses against me—hard, hot, pulsing with restraint—and I slide from his lap without a word, my body already aching to please him. Toconsumehim.
I sink to my knees between his thighs, my breath brushing over the length of him before I take him in. The taste of him is salt and sin, heady and intoxicating, and when I hollow my cheeks around him, he groans—a deep, guttural sound torn from his core. His head falls back, his fingers twisting into my hair as he fights for control he no longer has.
“Fuck…” he growls.
I take him deeper, dragging my tongue along every inch, and he twitches against it, hips jerking as his pleasure coils tight. He pulls me up roughly, mouth colliding with mine, savoring the taste of himself on my lips. I moan into his mouth, needing him, needingmore, and he gives it without question.
Casper lifts me easily, settling me back into his lap, guiding me with a reverence that borders on worship. I hover just above him, theswollen head of his cock brushing my entrance, and for a moment, we both pause—our eyes locked, our breath trembling between us.
Then, I lower myself onto him.
The stretch is slow, devastatingly full, and it rips a moan from my throat that barely sounds human. He fills me completely, until there's no space left for anything else. Just him. Only him.
