Page 146 of Tower of Ash and Darkness
I stand straighter, my back stiff.
“What I saw isexactlywhat I saw,” I reply, my lips pulling tight. “You promised to be a better man. Forme. Remember?”
His eyes darken, the apprehension rippling through.
“And I’ve tried.”
I let out a detached laugh. “You tried?”
He takes a step closer, close enough for me to feel the desperation behind his words.
“You think I wanted this?”
“I think you chose it,” I snap. “You chose her.”
“I didn’t choose her,” he fires back. “I choseyou. Every time.”
I shake my head. My heart feels like it’s been ripped from my body. I stare at him—not the boy I once loved, but the man I no longer trust.
“You chose yourself,” I say, quiet and final.
Jason steps back as if I’ve struck him. For a breath, his shoulders sag under the weight of the truth—ourtruth.
He drags a hand down his face, voice hoarse when he finally speaks.
“I couldn’t protect you,” he says. “Not from them. Not from this. So I played the part. I let them believe I was distracted. That I could be bought, manipulated, tempted… all so they’d stop watching you. All so they wouldn’t look too closely atyou.”
I scoff. “So sleeping with her was a strategy? A sacrifice?” I say, mywords like ice. “That’s a bold claim, Jason. Even for my own husband.”
Silence floods the space.
His voice breaks when he finally breathes, “I love you, Lailah.”
Everything stills.
“I didn’t know what it was at first,” he continues, his eyes tracing some distant memory. “We were only kids… when you’d disappear from your lessons, vanish like smoke—I was always the one who found you.”
He exhales like it hurts.
“You’d be in the library, crouched between shelves that smelled like dust and forgotten things. Like you were trying to disappear into the past, hoping the world would forget you existed for a while.”
His voice cracks, trembling with everything he’s still trying to say.
“But even in those shadows—you glowed. Not gently. Not softly. You were the kind of light thatburned. Like you were made of something the world had no right to touch.”
He steps closer, like the truth might kill him if he doesn’t get it out now.
“You were never meant for thrones or cages, Lailah. You were wild and brilliant—never made to be tamed by anyone.”
He falters, breath unsteady.
“And I’ve loved you since the moment you looked at me like I was more than a name carved into a lineage I never asked for.”
My throat tightens, traitorous and aching—because this is what I used to beg for. These are the words I once would’ve burned the world to hear. But now… now they’re too late. Too broken. And gods, it hurts more than if he’d said nothing at all.
“I loved the boy I used to know,” I murmur. “The one who used to find me when I didn’t want to be found. But that boy’sgone, Jason. And you’re all that’s left.”
“I can still be him.”
