Page 69 of Tower of Ash and Darkness
“You’re here because I need you for the plan, not because I want to touch you.”
Her laugh is soft, mocking, her lips curling into a wicked smile. My grip tightens, silencing her. She gasps softly, far too pleased for my liking. I hate how she feeds off every ounce of control I exert, twisting it into something intoxicating.
“Still the same plan?” she purrs, eyes gleaming like polished crystal. “After all these years, you still only want onething, don’t you?” Her voice lowers, sultry and poisonous.
“Tell me, how long has it been since you last touched me, Cas? Confided in me? Hmm?” She leans in, her breath brushing my lips, and I taste the memory I have spent years trying to erase. “Since you let someoneseeyou, the real you?”
My jaw clenches. I want to rip the words from the air and shove them back down her throat.
“You don’tknowme.”
Her wicked grin deepens, slow and cruel.
“Oh, but I do know you like this.” Her eyes lock on mine. “Your power. The way I give myself to you when you touch me like this. You think I don’t know how much youenjoyit?”
I lean closer, my voice cold and scathing.
“The only thing I enjoy is knowing you’ll do exactly what I tell you to.”
She’s relishing this. She tilts her head back, exposing her neck, her pulse racing beneath the delicate skin. Her body leans further into my grip, goading me, daring me to lose control. My fangs ache, the primal hunger clawing at my resolve, but it’s not her I crave. It never has been. The sight of her bare throat, the inviting line of her neck—it does nothing but make my stomach twist. Her scent, warm and cloying, mixed with the acrid tang of her pleasure, turns my revulsion into something physical.
I tighten my grip slightly, enough to remind her who’s in control, though I know she relishes it. I’m not going to give her the satisfaction. She laughs softly, her dark eyes darting to mine with a victorious gleam.
“Tell me,” she whispers, her voice dripping with satisfaction, “what do youneed?”
I clench my jaw, hating her arrogance. She craves control, thrives on the way she pulls strings to make others dance. Yet I know what she wants. It’s the same thing she’s always wanted—to see me break, to see me crawl.
The words sit heavy on the tip of my tongue, waiting to slip free.My throat tightens with the weight of what I’m about to say, the enormity of what I’m about to ask. I hate her for coaxing me into this moment, hate myself even more for needing to go through with it. Every part of me screams to hold my silence, to turn away. But I can’t. I must do what needs to be done, even if it tears apart everything I care about.
When I finally speak, my voice is low and strained, barely more than a whisper.
“I needyou.”
The words taste like ash, bitter and vile, and they cling to the air like poison. Vanessa’s victory is sealed.
“There it is,” she purrs, stepping even closer, her presence wrapping around me like a vise.
I hate that I’ve given her this power. I hate that I’ve let her see my desperation. But most of all, I hate that I’ve set something in motion that I may never be able to undo. The consequence of this evening could cost meher—and I know, deep down, it will. And yet, even knowing this, I’ve made my choice. The die is cast, and there’s no turning back.
14
LAILAH
Ihad spent most of the day in my rooms after returning from the library, waiting for Sera to arrive and help me prepare for the engagement dinner. When she finally did, her attention wasn’t on the feast, but on readying me for my wedding night.
Sera’s focus was steadfast as she meticulously prepared me, ensuring I was "properly groomed." The conversation about removing all my body hair—leaving me completely smooth—was one I never imagined having. To Sera, it was simply part of her duty as both my best friend and handmaiden. To me, it was a stark reminder of the reality I was being forced to face: the consummation of my marriage to Jason.
The preparations felt invasive, each step stripping away a piece of myself and leaving me exposed. Sera’s hands were gentle but efficient, her wit softened by a genuine care as she talked me through what was to come. Her words were blunt but honest, explaining in detail the expectations of the wedding night.
I listened carefully, even though I already understood the mechanics of consummation. What I hadn’t prepared for was the reality of facing Jason after what I’d seen. I had always known about his past lovers—court gossip had made sure of that—but I hadfoolishly believed that once we were engaged, once I was his, he wouldn’t want anyone else. That he wouldn’t betray me. Seeing his hands on another woman during our engagement shattered that belief entirely.
But now it wasn’t just the betrayal that unsettled me—it was the kiss. Facing him now meant remembering the way his lips had claimed mine in the library. A kiss that awakened everything I had buried. It wasn’t just desire—it was every memory, every echo of the boy I once loved. And for a moment, I believed him. Believed in us. Now I don’t know what sickens me more—his infidelity or the fact that some part of me still longs to believe he wants only me.
He had me in name, in promise, yet it hadn’t been enough. And now I was expected to let him claim me tomorrow night, as if his actions could simply be erased. When Sera finished, her voice softened, and she looked at me as though searching for some trace of calm. But the sickness remained, a twisting knot of fury and revulsion. The idea of consummation felt tainted, knowing the hands meant to touch me tomorrow had already strayed elsewhere.
I stayed in my rooms far longer than I should, unwilling to face the evening ahead. The day had drained me, and the thought of stepping into the throne room, surrounded by laughter and celebration, felt suffocating. But I had no choice. My father’s pride, my engagement, my position—they all demanded my presence.
When I finally stepped into the grand hall, the air was thick with music and movement. The vampire court shimmered beneath gilded chandeliers, the dance floor a blur of crimson silks and shadowed smiles.
