Page 60 of The Defiant Governess
“Good!” boomed the duke. “It’s settled, then.”
Saybrook’s lips compressed into a tight smile. “You are most persuasive, Your Grace.”
The duke returned the smile. “No, I simply refuse to take no for an answer. Prerogative of rank.”
At that moment, the footmen came in to clear the table. As they left, Jane rose too. “If you will excuse me, I shall leave you gentlemen to your port. I think I will retire early tonight. I feel a bit of a headache coming on.”
“Headache,” remarked Thomas as he stared at her retreating figure. “Why, she’s never in her life had …” A quelling look from his father silenced any further words.
“I pray you will also excuse me.” Saybrook stood up. “It has been a fatiguing day.”
The duke rang for a candle. “Good night to you, sir. Let Grimshaw know if you are in need of anything.”
Saybrook made a bow, an inscrutable look on his face. “I believe you have thought of everything, Your Grace.” With that, he followed the footman to the door.
Walking to the sideboard, the duke poured himself a large port and held it eye level, a smile on his face as he regarded its rich, ruby color.
“What on earth are you grinning like a Bedlamite?” demanded his son.
“Oh, I think you shall see soon enough.” he took a sip from his glass. “But I wouldn’t be young again for all the tea in China.”
“W-Why?”
He shook his head in exasperation. “Youthful pride. It makes you young people too blind to see what’s in front of your noses.”
“You can’t possibly mean … why, it’s clear they don’t even like each other!
The duke started on his way to the drawing room. “Thomas, you disappoint me,” he said. “Until now, I would never have considered my heir an utter fool.”
Jane pulledher nightgown closer as she sat on the windowseat of her bedchamber watching the moonlight play off the boxwood hedges and ornamental shade trees.Drat the man.Just when she was beginning to think she could put him out of her mind, he had reappeared in her life, upsetting her carefully constructed equilibrium. Upon raising her eyes and meeting that familiar sea-green gaze as he stood there, looking devastatingly handsome in his evening clothes, it had taken only an instant for the foundations to come tumbling down.
How had he found her?And more puzzling, why was he here?
She had to blink back tears. Surely he must hold her beneath contempt now that he knew of her lies, her deceit. Surely that was what she had seen in his eyes the few times their glances had crossed during the evening, before he had quickly averted his face. Why, he couldn’t even bear to look at her.
It would have been much better if she had encouraged him to go on the morrow.So why had she asked him to stay?She rose and began to pace the room. She had asked him because?—
Jane caught herself. A sudden realization washed over her.Coward!For months, she had been a coward, she who had always prided herself with not being afraid to face anything. She had been afraid of her feelings, afraid of risking not only her precious independence but her heart as well. It was only now that she understood risk was a part of life, and that the rewards were worth far more than youthful pride.
But finally realizing the truth did not make it any easier to know what to do. It was likely too late now to win back his regard.What a mull she had made of things! It was, admittedJane, a bitter pill to swallow as she realized how bull-headed she had been in not telling Saybrook the truth when she had had a chance. She should have trusted that he would understand.
And now?
She slipped under the covers to ward off the chill that was creeping over her, but she knew that sleep would be a long, long time in coming.
Jane wasn’tthe only one dealing with fraught emotions within the privacy of a bedchamber. Saybrook was also in such an agitated state of mind that he couldn’t sleep, despite his physical fatigue. He laughed harshly at himself. Jane had played him for a fool! Only a complete gudgeon would not have known that ‘Jane” was no ordinary country miss. And as her father pointed out, he had also been placed in a scandalous position for both of them—and he had experienced enough damnable scandals in his life!
Yet despite his hot anger at having been duped, he felt an infinite sadness at the loss of his “Miss Langley.” His mouth crooked in an involuntary smile when he pictured her once more in her dreadful gown, her hair twisted in an unattractive bun, her eyes flashing as she argued some point with him.
He forced the image from his mind. ‘Miss Jane’ was irrevocably gone. A duke’s daughter and a grand heiress … why, her father—and no doubt Jane herself—would think him a mere fortune-hunter, intent of taking advantage of the situation if he offeredfor her now.
That he couldn’t bear.
An oath escaped him. Why had he allowed himself to be maneuvered into staying here? He should depart at first light, nomatter his promises and Peter’s disappointment. He should get far enough away to be sure of never seeing her again until she was safely married. Perhaps to the Continent again. Wearily, he sank onto the bed and buried his hands in his hair. He could deal with the pain of losing Jane if he didn’t have to see her.
Oh yes, he was an expert at dealing with pain.
Jane smiledas she watched Peter urge his pony into a gallop as they returned to the stables. The boy was having a wonderful time. If she didn’t know him better, she might worry that he was being dreadfully spoiled, what with all the attention from every adult in the house. Why, even her father had been taken with the boy. She had found him showing Peter how to feed the ducks out by the pond. He had turned to greet her and, with a pointed look, remarked on how lively the place was with imps around.
