Page 26 of A Wish For Jo
Kelvin swept a hand through his lustrous locks, giving them a tug for good measure. 'How very dare you! I'll have you know that every inch of me is real, unlike others I could mention. Hmm, Katie?'
The three judges were circling the workstations like cake-loving piranhas, pausing to scribble notes. Katie stuck her tongue out at Kelvin, and made a show of thrusting her enviable bosom in the host's direction.
'And what have we here, bonnie lass?' Kelvin halted next to Jo, still stirring colouring into her various mixes.
Jo gritted her teeth and resisted the urge to flip a dollop of flesh-coloured icing at Kelvin's annoying face. 'That would be telling, wouldn't it?'
No one, apart from the behind-the-scenes crew, knew what the cards contained. Kelvin pretended to peer over Jo's shoulder and she did a passable impression of a pupil trying to hide their exam answers from a cheating classmate.
'Thirty-five minutes to go!' The booming voice of the show's narrator prompted an upsurge in activity. Becky whipped a bowl of something with lightning speed, her expression somewhere between beatific and deranged. Marvin had moved on to slicing and dicing, wielding the knife with all the fervour of a serial killer.
You can do this. Jo upended the mould, still hot from the oven, and gingerly eased the contents onto a rack to cool it as quickly as possible. The image of what she was about to create filled her mind, as did an all-too-familiar voice.You're on to a winner, pet. Mind you don't balls up the finishing touches.
As if, huffed Jo. She glanced at the audience, but it was so difficult to pick anyone out under the harsh glare of the studio lights. For a brief moment, she thought she saw the flick of an ebony ponytail and a flash of pearly teeth. But it wasn't Aaliyah, just a teenage girl wedged between an older couple.
'While our contestants add the wow factor, let's hear from our illustrious judges.' Kelvin made his way to the area dubbed 'Cosy Corner’, where Lee, Katie and Lily huddled round a pot of tea and the selection of petit fours made in the opening round of the final. 'As these little darlings take a while to set, tradition dictates that our finalists make them earlier in the day,' explained Kelvin. Devoted fans of the show already knew that. Jo certainly did; she just couldn't remember anything about it. Somehow her wish had landed her right at the end of the show, meaning that she had no memory of the opening round.
'Let's have a quick recap of the scores as they currently stand.' A giant screen displayed photos of the three finalists. Becky oozed confidence, her cross-armed stance at odds with her current state of panic. Marvin gave a tight-lipped smile, hands jammed into the pockets of his apron. Jo, to her horror, resembled a rabbit caught in headlights. A jowly rabbit, with an inane smile that suggested village idiot rather than potentialAll Risevictor.
'With just the final round to go, Becky's in the lead with a score of seventeen, Marvin’s in second place with fifteen, and Jo is trailing behind with a total of thirteen. Shame your dumplings didn't quite rise to the occasion, Jo.' Kelvin shot her a sideways glance, his look laced with a side order of sneer.
The screen changed to show the finalists holding their second-round efforts. Sure enough, Jo's platter was more trodden-on pancake than the fluffy mounds of point-scoring perfection presented by her rivals. What on earth had gone wrong? If she didn't up her game now, she had no chance of lifting theAll Risetrophy.
'These are simply to die for,' simpered Katie, taking a mouse-sized nibble of Becky's mandarin-scented white chocolate and cranberry lollipops.
'Hmm, I found them a tad sickly, to be honest,' said Lily. 'I preferred Marvin's absinthe and peppermint truffles. Such an interesting merging of flavours: the ideal after-dinner treat.'
'A tough call,' added Lee. ‘Personally, I felt Jo's goat's cheese and lemon ganache ticked all the boxes in terms of creativity and eatability, if that's even a word. Well, it is now!'
Goat's cheese and lemon? Where on earth had that combo come from? A faint snigger tickled Jo's ear and she suppressed one herself. There was no doubting who'd nudged Jo in that unexpected direction. Still, the unorthodox mix had given her an overall score of eight in the opening round. Shame about the five in the second round, though. Now she needed a real showstopper to seal the deal.
'Not long to go now,' announced Kelvin, making a show of checking his flashy watch. 'Contestants, it's time to pump up the jam, let loose with the juice and get those masterpieces in front of the nation!'
Jeez, the man talked absolute drivel. All pre-scripted, of course. Jo had seen him interviewed once when the autocue had gone on the blink. He'd stumbled over his words, relying instead on simpering over his fellow guest, a well-known Shakespearean actor who'd quietened Kelvin with an imperious eyebrow.
Jo glanced at her rivals: busier than bees on amphetamines. She closed her eyes, conjuring up an image of how her cake would look. Unbidden, a picture of Harvey appeared, his features replacing the ones Jo needed to add, and fast.
'You've got this.' Jo said the words to herself, but pictured Harvey egging her on. Victory was within her grasp…
CHAPTER28
'It's noteasy being a genie when your master is a meanie,' warbled Aaliyah, squirting vivid blue liquid into the toilet bowl. Proud of her impromptu lyrics, she snapped on a pair of rubber gloves and wrestled the toilet brush from its holder. 'I dream of being human, just an ordinary woman, but it's hard to decamp when your home is a lamp.'
OK, maybe the words needed some work, but at least it distracted Aaliyah from the task at hand — or rather, the longlistof tasks at hand, provided by Jo before she did the magical skippety-hop to TV land.
As Aaliyah scrubbed the bowl, Jo's experience in front of the cameras played on a loop in her head. The silly bint thought she might lose! As if that would happen on Aaliyah's watch. Genies' wishes came with a cast-iron guarantee of success. Dhassim's didn't always hit the mark, mind, but his heart was in the right place even if his brain resided elsewhere.
Satisfied that the bloody loo gleamed, Aaliyah skipped downstairs and put the TV on. Fiddling with the remote and her WIFI, she brought up the episode ofAll Risefeaturing Jo. For her eyes only: an episode fulfilled in a dream land where anything was possible if you wished hard enough.
Aaliyah pressedpauseand dashed to the kitchen for corn chips and salsa. Back in the lounge, she hitplayand guffawed at the image of Jo hunkering by her workstation. Blobs of icing spattered her apron, and if she frowned any harder, the furrows on her forehead would resemble troughs.
Only minutes remained till the winner was announced. The other two contestants — a young woman and a sweaty old geezer — lined up with Jo. The show's host pranced around while the three judges gave the final-round creations a last taste.
'Get on with it!' screeched Aaliyah. 'I've got some serious flirting to do.’ In Jo's absence, she had decided on a solo trip to The Jekyll and Hyde. Cleaning duties could wait; what she needed was a healthy dose of girl/boy banter. Attractive lads were in short supply in Cranley, and that Jamie wasn't too shabby a specimen.
Aaliyah punched the air as Jo finally accepted the winner's trophy. The losers clapped on either side of her, the man with the fervour of a seal on uppers. The woman, however, was sour-faced, and her hands barely made contact. Jo beamed at the camera and held the trophy aloft.
'Pretty impressive, Jo,' murmured Aaliyah as the camera panned in on the winning cake. 'Mind you, I think me boobs could have been bigger.’
