Page 41 of A Wish For Jo
'Genies don't grant wishes for other genies, duh.' Aaliyah shook her head in disbelief.
'How was I supposed to know that? Nobody gave me an Idiot's Guide to Genies.' Jo feltlike a complete idiot. She was supposed to be looking forward to a romantic night with Harvey. Instead, she was flanked by two otherworldly beings treating her like a halfwit. It was enough to drive a woman round the bend and back again.
'Jo, Jo, Jo.' Dhassim draped an oily arm around her shoulders. She shrugged him off, not wanting greasy marks on her brand-new bodysuit. 'It is difficult to understand, I know, but only mortals can be granted wishes. You did not summon me, therefore I am merely a visitor with no powers.'
'Apart from the power to enchant me,' purred Aaliyah.
Pass the sick bag, please. Jo left Cranley's answer to Rose and Jack adrift on their ocean of lurve, and went to check her appearance. No oil stains, and the stress of having two genies playing tonsil hockey downstairs hadn’t caused too many worry lines.
'Are you, like, going to stay over with your man?' As per bloody usual, Aaliyah sauntered into Jo's bedroom without so much as a tap at the door.
'I don't know.' Jo spritzed herself with perfume and smoothed a stray strand of hair into place. 'Are you going to tellyourother man that he's been dumped in favour of an oily creature who came out of a tin?'
'Dhassim's a genie, not a sardine,' huffed Aaliyah. 'And we live in lamps, not tins. There’s no need to be so bitchy, Jo. It doesn't suit you.'
'Whereas you wear bitchy like a crown,' retorted Jo. 'And you still haven't answered my question.'
'You mean Jamie?' Aaliyah swiped Jo's perfume bottle and doused herself from head to toe. 'Nah, no need, pet: it was just a bit of fun while it lasted. You were right, for once. I'm better off sticking to my own kind. Advice you might want to follow, too.'
'What on earth do you mean?' Jo snatched back the bottle as an eardrum-piercing sound emanated from below.
Aaliyah swooped out into the hallway, screeched 'Turn the bloody racket down, Dhassim!' and returned to Jo. 'Thinks he's a rock star, bless him. Shame he sounds more like a cat with a firework up its bum.’
Although relieved that Dhassim's excruciating warbling had ceased, Jo's frustration with Aaliyah climbed another notch. 'What exactly do you mean, I should follow my own advice? Harvey's a human, and a very nice one.'
'If you say so. I have a sixth sense about people, and my instinct tells me that man is not to be trusted.' Aaliyah tapped her nose in a 'genie knows best' manner.
'Like Sam, you mean? You got all weird around him without any explanation.'
Before Aaliyah could respond, the bedroom door burst open and Dhassim bounded in. Jo glowered at them both. 'Give me strength! Do I need to install bloody traffic lights to get some privacy around here?'
'My little chickadee, do not get your knickers in a knot. We are here to help you. Aren't we, angel cakes?'
A larger sick bag, please. Jo checked her watch: fifteen minutes until she was due at Harvey's. 'Right, I’m out of here now. There's plenty of food in the fridge. Please, please don't leave the house.'
'Why would we go out when we can be total snuggle bunnies in your cosy love nest?' cooed Dhassim. 'And if you need any housework doing, I'm an absolute demon at dust-busting. Just say the word, and I'll buff and polish to absolute perfection.'
'You can buff and polish me instead.' Looking less than impressed at Dhassim's offer to whizz around with the vacuum cleaner, Aaliyah stuck her dainty pink tongue in his ear. That gave a whole new meaning to cleaning, and not one Jo wanted to witness.
'OK. I'm off. See you whenever.’ Jo galloped downstairs, Dhassim and Aaliyah trailing behind. She'd wanted to ask Dhassim if he'd also detected something suspicious about Sam, but that could wait. She had an evening of good food, great company and hopefully, magical sex ahead. Leaving Aaliyah and Dhassim entwined on the sofa like a couple of horny octopuses, Jo slipped on her favourite mid-heel boots and headed out into the night.
* * *
Harvey helpedJo out of her coat and hung it on a peg. 'Sorry I'm early,’ she said.
'By approximately three minutes,' he teased, making a show of checking his watch. 'Either I'm irresistible, or you could smell my cooking and broke into a sprint.'
Jo sniffed the air; something did smell delicious. She took Harvey's outstretched hand and allowed him to draw her close. His body heat melted the chill she had felt in the short walk from her place to his. His lips sought hers and they kissed, gently at first, then with increasing intensity. Jo pressed herself closer, in no doubt of Harvey's state of arousal. Either that, or he was packing a kitchen utensil in his boxers.
An icy draught seeped through the letterbox and fluttered around Jo's exposed arms. 'Erm, do you think we could move out of the hallway?' She shivered and Harvey hugged her tighter.
'Of course. It's warmish in the lounge, thanks to the delightful two-bar electric fire and its ability to pump out the equivalent of a bee's fart in heat.'
'I didn't know bees farted, never mind that they produce heat at the same time.' Jo kept close to Harvey as they sideways-shuffled into the lounge. 'What's cooking?' she asked. 'Should I inspect the kitchen bin for telltale takeaway boxes?'
Harvey shook his head. ‘Oh, ye of little faith. Tonight's menu is one hundred per cent prepared by yours truly. Vegetarian, in fact.'
'I'm impressed, but I only eat meat.' Harvey looked nonplussed, and Jo burst out laughing. ‘I’m kidding. I'll eat pretty much anything apart from raw oysters and offal.'
