Page 18 of A Wish For Wilma
Sam took over the story. ‘I knew nothing about it until I started having crazy dreams about lamps and hearing voices saying that I was the chosen one.’
‘Then I had to tell Sam the truth about Dhassim and Aaliyah. He’s actually a mighty Djinn who controls their future.’
‘A mighty what?’ Wilma wrestled herself free from Jinnie’s crushing embrace. DJ yawned and let out an epic fart. ‘Damn it, the wee blighter’s filled his nappy again.’ Wilma crinkled her nose in disgust, then smirked. ‘Jinnie love, changing DJ would be good practice for when your baby arrives.’
Jinnie recoiled in horror. ‘Gran, there’s no way I can lift him and carry him upstairs. Actually, how haveyoumanaged?’
Before Wilma could respond, DJ clambered off the sofa and waddled towards Jinnie. ‘I have been gifted the ability to develop much faster than humans,’ he announced. ‘Apart from the poop part, but I will soon be fully potty-trained. I feel it in my bones.’
‘More like your bowels,’ retorted Jinnie.
‘Everything you need is in the bathroom,’ said Wilma, as Jinnie grudgingly accompanied DJ and his sagging bottom out of the room. ‘Including bin liners, for you-know-what.’
Left alone with Wilma, Sam did his best to explain the whole Djinn thing, including his trip back in time, when Dhassim and Aaliyah had pretty much said who would receive the new lamp. ‘Wilma, you seem to be taking this in your stride. Aren’t you, well, in shock?’
Gesturing to Sam to accompany her to the kitchen, Wilma poured two generous glasses of plonk. From above them came an anguished cry and some shouting about sweetcorn. ‘Sam, not much shocks me these days. I was born before the Second World War and I’ve witnessed momentous moments in history. I’ve been happily married then widowed far too soon, and consider myself lucky to still be around.’
‘But — genies!’
‘Better than a poltergeist chucking things around, or being possessed by a malevolent demon,’ countered Wilma. ‘It is what it is, Sam. Genies grant wishes, which can’t be a bad thing.’
To the sound of the toilet flushing and arguing between DJ and Jinnie, Sam and Wilma raised their glasses. ‘Here’s to wishes coming true,’ said Sam. ‘Has DJ mentioned anything yet?’
‘Not a dicky bird. He’s busy filling his belly, not carrying out his duties.’ Wilma slurped her wine, while Sam took more restrained sips.
‘His parents said he could only grant one wish because he’s little,’ said Sam, as thundering footsteps echoed down the stairs.
‘Pah! If he gets any bigger, I’ll need a forklift truck to move him.’
DJ swaggered into the room, a load off his mind, or rather his rear. ‘Jinnie is cleaning up and I will have a little snack before my afternoon nap.’ With a nod to Wilma, he opened the fridge, seized a box of Dairylea triangles, and left the kitchen.
‘See what I mean?’
Jinnie appeared, flushed and irritated. ‘That was one of the most hideous things I’ve ever done. I felt like a zookeeper clearing out the elephant enclosure. How have you coped, Gran?’
Wilma shrugged. ‘Needs must, as they say. At least DJ mentioned potty training, so hopefully things will improve soon.’
‘But how can you keep him hidden away?’ Sam scratched the light stubble on his chin. ‘Surely Rob and Kath will drop by, and what then? Or Gus, if he’s still doing jobs for you.’
A gleam of something unnerving flickered in Wilma’s eyes. Jinnie stared at Sam. Sam gave her a helpless ‘I don’t know what’s coming, but I don’t think it’s good’ look.
‘Aye, it’s a tricky one, Sam,’ said Wilma. ‘A right pain in the bahookie, especially as Gus and I are getting on so well. As friends, mind. So don’t be thinking there’s more to it than that.’
‘Gran, I’m delighted you’ve met up with Gus again. Honestly, I couldn’t be happier for you. But I’m sensing a punchline coming…’
Wilma’s furrowed lips twisted into a grotesque grin. ‘Well, as this whole genie thing started with you, I think it’s only right that you give your old gran a wee sabbatical.’
‘Are you saying what I think you’re saying?’
Wilma nodded. ‘I am indeed. As soon-to-be parents yourselves, you can have DJ for a few days. Let me get my life in order, so to speak. You two can bond with the wee guy, figure out the whole wish thing for me, and I’ll have him back when I’m good and ready.’
Frankly, Wilma announcing that she’d taken up witchcraft and planned on hexing some annoying neighbours would have been more palatable.
‘But … what if he doesn’t want to come with us, Gran?’
‘Wilma, he’s yourgenie. I’m not sure wecantake him away, even if we wanted to.’
Jinnie and Sam stammered, stuttered, and protested, to no avail. Wilma left the room for ten minutes, before returning with a well-worn suitcase. ‘Everything you need is here, apart from food, but you’ve shops in Cranley. He might need some new clothes, seeing as he’s bursting out all over. I’ll let you deal with that. Gus is coming over at some point and I need a break.’
