Page 47 of A Wish For Wilma
CHAPTER29
‘What kind of mistake?’
Wilma, Jinnie and Sam approached Aaliyah cautiously. She sat cross-legged on the floor, staring at her WIFI as if it held the answers to the universe.
‘This cannot be true. The Charter for Harmonious Upstanding Genies gave it a blue tick!’
‘Like Twitter?’ interjected Wilma. ‘Never seen the point of them, personally.’
‘Gran, can we stay on topic, please?’ begged Jinnie.
Tea forgotten, they waited for Aaliyah to enlighten them. And waited. And waited.
The tension in the room mounted. Sam twiddled with a ballpoint pen he dug out from his pocket. Jinnie dashed to the loo, peeing at warp speed before returning. Wilma played with her phone, drifting between Twitter and her messages.
‘Aaliyah, the suspense is killing us. What the heck is going on?’ Sam glared at Aaliyah.
Aaliyah leapt to her feet, her agility a cause of jealousy for both Jinnie and Wilma, and dashed into the hallway. The silence was soon broken by hammering and a string of expletives.
‘Is she smashing up the cupboard?’ Sam snapped the pen in two and cursed as he put the pieces in his pocket.
‘Not sure, but—’
Aaliyah reappeared, her normally flawless skin blotchy and her nostrils quivering with anger. Close behind slunk a familiar figure — to Jinnie and Sam — head bowed and muttering under his breath.
‘You’re back!’ Jinnie couldn’t help rushing to hug him. Dhassim might have driven her round the bend and back again, but he’d been her genie pal.
‘Finally, I meet DJ’s folks.’ Wilma stood up to greet them, and sat down again when they failed to acknowledge her presence.
‘Ah, mon doudou.’ Dhassim trembled in Jinnie’s embrace. ‘Yes, Aaliyah persuaded me to return because she has missed me comme un fou.’
Aaliyah’s nostrils quivered more violently. ‘I havenotmissed you like crazy. More like a hole in the head, but let’s not go there. We have bigger fish to fry.’
Dhassim tried to embrace Aaliyah, but she recoiled with an irritated huff. ‘You do not understand the balls-up we are facing, dimwit. I only summoned you because … because I cannot deal with this alone.’
‘Deal withwhatalone, l’amour de ma vie?’
‘I’ve no feckin’ idea what’s going on,’ said Wilma, ‘but can we bin the foreign talk? The only bit I’m interested in is the fish-frying. Maybe Sam could pop to the chippy and—’
‘Stop!’ Jinnie took centre stage and pointed a warning finger at each of them in turn. ‘In case you’ve all forgotten, Aaliyah is about to reveal a terrible mistake. And I suspect it’s going to be a shocker.’
The atmosphere in the room changed in an instant from squabbling schoolchildren to attentive students.
‘Dhassim, when did you last do a software update on your WIFI?’ Aaliyah pointed at his trousers.
Dhassim pursed his lips, dug his hands deep into the pockets of his harem pants and produced his WIFI. Less blingy than Aaliyah’s, but Jinnie could vouch for its wish-granting abilities.
‘Hang on, do these things need updating like an iPhone?’ Sam gawped at Jinnie. Jinnie, notorious for ignoring her update messages, shrugged. If something worked, why mess with it?
Aaliyah grabbed Dhassim’s WIFI, provoking an indignant howl from her erstwhile partner. She pushed several buttons, her face darkening as she scrutinised the screen. ‘You are on version 5.1.1, you imbecile!’
‘Is that bad?’ asked Wilma. ‘Gus helped me to fix my phone, but don’t ask me what it all means. I think I’m on IOS something or other, if that helps.’
‘Our WIFIs do not work like your stupid phones,’ Aaliyah retorted. ‘Their technology is so advanced the mere thought of its capabilities would blow your pea-sized brains.’
‘Enough with the insults, please,’ said Jinnie. ‘Cut to the chase and tell us what the deal is.’
Aaliyah tossed the WIFI back to Dhassim. ‘Thedealisthat my so-called beloved has failed to keep up, as usual. He is woefully behind with the Genie Uploading Leverage Protocol.’
