Page 70 of A Wish For Wilma
Hush my dear baby and sleep without fear,
Dream Angus has brought you a dream, my dear.
Dahlia snuffled and Wilma drank in every inch of her tiny, innocent face. She couldn’t recall how she knew the lullaby — though Annie Lennox had recorded a beautiful version of it — but it seemed fitting. Her own dream of a happy ending with Angus — Gus — had come true. Her only concerns now were Jinnie’s happiness and sending the genies safely back to their own world.
‘I heard you singing, Gran,’ said Jinnie, drying her hands on a towel. ‘Maybe you should be in a recording studio after all.’
‘Dinnae be daft: no one wants to hear my caterwauling except this wee bundle. Now, let’s get DJ in here for a full explanation. He was on the verge of revealing his cunning plan the other day when Gus turned up, and he’s kept schtum ever since. Oh, and I need to hire a cleaner.’
Jinnie raised an eyebrow, but didn’t pursue the subject.
‘DJ!’ Wilma passed Dahlia to Jinnie and huffed her way into the hall. ‘Jinnie’s here and our ears are itching to hear what cockamamie scheme you’ve cooked up to leave Cranley. I’m assuming it disnae involve EasyJet flights.’
DJ ambled into the kitchen. He’d stopped growing and now resembled an elongated, more muscular version of Dhassim, with a hint of Aaliyah attitude. ‘Hi, Jinnie. Hello, little one.’ He crouched to stroke Dahlia’s cheek. ‘Do you remember when I was cute like that, Wilma?’
‘Aye. It lasted a nanosecond.’
DJ laughed, then his face darkened. ‘Jinnie already knows some of what I’ve managed to achieve. It’s a complex process that involves a small element of risk.’
Jinnie swallowed hard. ‘DJ, the everlasting fire of eternal damnation is more than a slight risk.’
Wilma eyed the pair of them, imagining her relationship with Gus coming to an abrupt and scorched end. ‘Lad, you cannae do something unless you’re sure.Areyou sure?’
DJ fetched a can of Coke from Wilma’s fridge, opened it and took a swig. ‘Everything in life is a gamble. Wilma, you get up in the morning feeling grateful you’ve made it through the night.’
‘A cheery sentiment, but true.’
‘Jinnie, you could be walking home one day and get hit by a bus. Or a meteor. The latter would be a tad more dramatic and headline-grabbing, but you catch my drift.’
‘Wherever you end up next, don’t sign up as a motivational speaker.’ Wilma took a sip of cold tea.
DJ sighed. ’The reality is that none of us — including genies — can predict what’s round the corner. We throw the dice and hope they land in our favour.’
‘So what’s the actual benefit of being a genie?’ asked Jinnie. ‘You have all this wish-giving power, but really you’re as vulnerable as us mortals.’
‘I didn’t choose to be a genie.’ DJ put down his drink. ‘Just as you didn’t choose to be a human. Demons walk on this earth too, disguised as people, but hell-bent on causing mayhem. There are aliens from other planets, pondering whether to go for domination or bide their time — because this planet is on a path of self-destruction, unless your leaders cooperate with each other.’
‘I’ll be a long time deid before this planet sorts itself out.’ Wilma sighed. ‘I’m pretty sure I’ve met a few demons and aliens in the past. Or maybe they were just arseholes. Is there a difference?’
The shared laugh felt strained. Jinnie fed Dahlia and Wilma dug out her Breville and made them ham and cheese toasties. They munched in silence, aside from the odd crunch, until Jinnie dared to open the hornet’s nest again.
‘DJ, we need to move on. For all our sakes, we need to draw a line in the sand. I’m a little freaked out about the demons and the aliens, but I’ll get over it.’
‘You know that lad who lived down the road from your mum and dad till he got in trouble for dodgy internet stuff?’ Wilma stroked her chin in Hercule Poirot fashion. ‘I reckon he was a demon. He always had a bulge in his rear. Probably a pointy tail, thinking about it. And he wore those beanie hats, no doubt to conceal his horns.’
Jinnie squeezed her face in disbelief. ‘Gran! Malcolm had medical issues and he hated his receding hairline. And his only crime was illegally downloading movies.’
‘Pfft. Just saying.’
DJ clapped his hands together. ‘I will put the final touches to my plan this evening. Jinnie, please inform Sam and my Mama and Papa. I suggest we assemble here tomorrow. Delaying further is not wise.’
‘And how will it work?’ asked Wilma. ‘Do I need to learn lines, or something? Like a genie-banishing script?’
DJ shook his head. ‘Once I’ve made the last adjustments, all will be clear.’
‘This feels like the last supper,’ mused Jinnie, pulling a strand of molten cheese from her lip. ‘It’ll be so strange without you around. Peaceful, but strange.’
‘Aye, I’ll be sad to see you go,’ said Wilma fondly. ‘You’ve certainly turned an old lady’s life upside down.’
