Page 12 of A Clean Sweep
Tom had loaded the dishwasher, still giving sheepish looks that had failed to penetrate Tabitha's icy exterior. She'd stomped off to bed, an Arctic blast trailing behind her. He'd attempted a cuddle when he crawled in beside her, but retreated when frostbite threatened to infiltrate his nether regions.
Back from the toilet,lipstick freshly applied and another drink in hand, Tabitha rejoined the conversation.
‘I wasn't totally convinced, but Jen persuaded me to give it a try. Now I'm a complete convert! Honestly, you two, it just feels incredible. And Pete absolutely loves it!’
Tabitha looked from Fiona to Derwyn, a little baffled as to what the current topic was. She knew that Jen was Fiona's beautician and that Fiona was a regular at the salon, always keen to try the latest treatment. Maybe she'd had a new facial, even a few needles stuck in here or there? Although she was only thirty and had a complexion that made babies' bottoms look a bit rough.
Fiona leaned in closer. Spoke in a loud stage whisper.
‘Got all my pubes whisked off. Not a hair left. Apparently it's the way to go these days. Much more hygienic and so much nicer when, you know…’ She broke off, grinning from ear to ear. Both Tabitha and Derwyn were gawping at her. And trying not to visualise their friend's newfound hairlessness down below.
‘Isn't it a bit – sorry, don't mean to be gross – but a bit,childlike? I mean, aren't we supposed to have some hair down there?’
Tabitha hadn't ever really given her pubic area much thought. She knew about Brazilians and landing strips and even trimming one's bits into intricate patterns like love hearts. Topiary for the brave and the brazen. She'd always been quite content to give it a little trim when it began to escape the edges of her panties. Tom hadn't complained and she'd certainly never demanded that he whip off hairs in his own private parts. She did her legs – at least in the summer – and she considered underarm hair removal as an essential. But waxing or shaving everything away? Wouldn't it itch like fury when it started to grow in? Having a good old scratch of the groin was surely something best left to the menfolk.
‘Not for me, I'm afraid,’ said Derwyn. Which made Tabitha feel a huge amount of relief. At least she wasn't alone in wanting to keep her hairy bits intact.
‘Tried it once. Hated it. So did Bob.’ Bob was Derwyn's ex, a man so hirsute he made ZZ Top look clean shaven.
‘He said it looked creepy. Wouldn't sleep with me again until it had grown back in. Then the bastard ran off with a Sinead O'Connor lookalike. Go figure.’
Derwyn wasn't wearing the expression of a woman heartbroken and crushed. Quite the opposite. With her tumbling auburn curls, sparkling hazel eyes and wickedly contagious laugh she exuded sex appeal. Coupled to a Swansea accent unchanged by years in England she attracted attention wherever she went. And always spoke her mind, invited or not. She'd only been with Ed a few months and Tabitha wasn'tsure he was a match for her friend. Definitely punching above his weight, if she was totally honest.
‘So, Tabitha. How're things with Tom? I'm surprised he let you out tonight. Shouldn't you two be getting hot and heavy between episodes ofGame of Thrones?’ Derwyn leaned back, creamy cleavage thrust forward. A chap at the bar did a dramatic double-take, narrowly missing tossing his drink into the lap of his unamused girlfriend.
Tabitha fiddled with the ends of her scarf and took another swig of her drink.
‘OK, I guess. Well, not really OK. More like a bit rubbish to be honest.’
To her dismay she felt tears brimming. Where had they come from? It wasn't as if the relationship was on the rocks, was it? Just a few lumps and bumps which was perfectly normal. Except, more and more she wondered what the future held for them. If, in fact, they had one.
‘Gosh, Tabitha, I had no idea! Why didn't you say something before?’ Derwyn squeezed in next to her friend and gave her an enormous hug, producing a packet of tissues from her pocket.
‘I don't know. Maybe I'm just being silly. I mean, Tom's lovely really. At least, he is when he isn't forgetting important things or leaving his toenail clippings lying around for me to sit on.’ Derwyn and Fiona both giggled, well versed in Tom's quirks and foibles.
‘But he's just so lush!’ exclaimed Derwyn in her husky Welsh tones. ‘You look so great together. Is there something you're not telling us? Does he have a dark, violent side? A serious porn addiction? Or does he like dressing up in your bras and panties?’
Tabitha let out a snort of laughter. The thought of Tom squeezing his muscular frame into her minuscule undies wasn't an appealing one. He was certainly not the violenttype, laid-back to the point of being horizontal. Which he often was when glued to his only real addiction,Top Gear. He smoked the odd cigarette but that wasn't enough to justify dumping him. So, what was the problem? Was she just being too picky? She knew she was a million miles from perfect. She wasn't seeking perfection, just a sense that she had found the person who brought out the best in her and who made her feel special. And the same in reverse.
‘None of the above, thankfully. Sorry guys, just having a wobbly moment. Must be the time of the month or something.’
Tabitha knew she couldn't properly explain to her friends where her doubts were coming from when she had trouble rationalising them herself. Better to keep quiet for now. She glanced at her watch. Only 10.30 but she was already sleepy and suddenly wanted to go home and be with Tom. Snuggle up on the sofa watching some crap TV and reassure herself that all was fine. No need to panic. Everybody had their ups and downs and they'd get through this, recapture some of the early magic when they couldn't keep their hands off each other. When trivial matters didn't even scratch the surface of their shiny, new togetherness.
‘Sorry girls, but I'm going to call it a night. Catch up again soon?’
Tabitha shrugged on her coat, hugging each of her friends in turn and assuring them that all was well. With promises to arrange another get together in the next couple of weeks she left the warmth and buzz of the bar for the short walk home.
‘Hello!I'm back already! Did you miss me?’
The house was deathly quiet. The small table lamp was on in the hallway, but the lounge was in total darkness. Tabithacalled upstairs but there was no reply. She wondered if Tom had gone to bed early but that would have been completely out of character. He often stayed up until the small hours of the morning watching TV or flicking around on his laptop. The only time she could recall he'd retreated to bed before midnight was when he'd had a serious bout of man flu. That had been fun, listening to him sniffling and coughing and complaining that death was just around the corner. She'd imagined the Grim Reaper waiting patiently, scythe in one hand, box of Lemsip in the other.
In the kitchen, she flicked on the overhead light and saw a note propped up against the bread bin. She picked it up and read it.
Hey, Tabitha. Hope you had a fun evening. Clive and Keith invited me out for a few pints. Might crash at Clive's. He's got the entire box set of The Sopranos. Tried your phone but it was switched off. See ya. Tom x
Tabitha pulled out her phone. She hadn't realised it was off. She switched it back on, saw three missed calls from Tom and one from her mother. She debated calling her back then noticed there was also a text message.
Hello darling. Hope all ok with you. Just wanted to catch up. Nothing urgent. Chat soon. Love you. Mum xx
