Page 20 of A Clean Sweep
The other woman stared blankly at Meryl, with red-rimmed eyes and a trembling mouth. She was now clutching a box of mini éclairs and looked in danger of squeezing the life out of them. It was clear something was wrong but Meryl was unsure how to proceed. Not a meddler by nature she was reluctant to appear nosy or pushy but, equally, she felt unable to simply walk away.
‘Look, I can see you’re upset and it’s absolutely none of my business but if there’s anything I can do? Here, let me take those for you.’
Meryl slid her plastic bag up her outstretched arm as she gently removed the slightly crushed box of éclairs from Susan’s grasp. As she did so a solitary tear slid down Susan’s cheek and she gave a little sob. Meryl turned to thethankfully empty counter and hurriedly paid for the goods, slipping them into the basket at Susan’s feet.
‘In my opinion you need a sit down and a cup of something good and strong. I’m a good listener if you feel like talking, but I’m just as happy to sit in silence if that’s what you prefer. I just think you could do with a bit of company right now. What do you think?’
Moments later they were seated in a little bar around the corner. Meryl had ordered herself a small glass of white but Susan had declined alcohol and was nursing a mug of hot chocolate with marshmallow sprinkles. She still hadn’t spoken, aside from a whispered ‘thank you’ when Meryl guided her gently out of the patisserie and along the street a few hundred yards.
She quietly surveyed her companion as they each sipped their drinks. Susan seemed a little calmer, a milky moustache adorning her upper lip which gave her a vaguely comical air in contrast to her earlier despair. Meryl decided against pointing it out, the poor woman clearly having bigger issues on her mind than a bit of unintended facial adornment.
‘So, would you like to share what's troubling you? I promise I'm completely non-judgemental. If you're actually a man trapped inside a woman's body or you harbour a desire to rid the world of Z list celebrities with a Kalashnikov, then I'm all ears. I have to confess I'm a die-hard ABBA fan and have been known to wear dungarees and ogle pictures of Pierce Brosnan on the internet. He's even on my screen saver. How sad is that?’
At this point, Susan looked up and laughed. Actually laughed, a proper, from-the-belly, chortle that lit up her face and showed a hint of the real person within.
‘None of the above, sadly. The truth is … I have cancer. And I don't quite know how to deal with it. And there's not a person on earth I can share it with. Except you. And why should you care? You don't know me. You've been so kind but I can't burden you with this.’
Susan rose as if to leave but Meryl beckoned for her to stay. Her head said to walk away but her heart went out to this lonely lady who had spilled her darkest secrets and so clearly needed a friend to confide in.
‘What kind? If you don't mind me asking? I've known a lot of people who've faced the big C and everyone has dealt with it in different ways. If I can help …?’
Susan looked at her with a mixture of despondency and desperation. She was clearly split in half, wanting to spill out all her worries and fears yet afraid to do so with someone she barely knew. Who could laugh at her behind her back, poor fat lady with a disease so prevalent yet it took her months to pick up the signs because she hated her body so much?
‘Breast cancer. Early stages, thankfully. Had a small op, just going through some intensive radiotherapy. It's not been too bad, a bit like a nasty sunburn really. It's just, my fiftieth birthday's fast approaching and I never imagined my life would turn out like this. Then again, whoever knows what's going to happen to them? It's only another date on the calendar, so who cares?’
Youshould care, thought Meryl. Someone should care. This was a lady with little self-esteem facing a tough regime of treatment and with no-one to support her at the other end.
‘When's your birthday? I'm a Leo. King of the zodiac and all that crap.’
Susan grimaced. Wiped a napkin across her mouth, removing all traces of hot chocolate residue.
'It's on the ninth of May. Taurus the bull. Seems quite appropriate for an old heifer like me!’
Both Meryl and Susan laughed a little nervously. It was time to leave yet neither knew what to say or do next.
'I haven't planned anything. I don't exactly have a long list of people who'd want to celebrate with me. So, it'll probably be me, a cake and an early night.'
No, it won't, thought Meryl as she swallowed the dregs of her wine and slipped on her coat. I may not really know you but I will do everything in my power to give you a party to remember.
They parted ways outside, after Meryl had keyed Susan’s number into her phone and taken note of her address. She’d offered to accompany her on some of her hospital visits but Susan had politely but firmly declined.
‘That’s really kind of you but there’s no need, honestly. Maybe we could meet up again for a coffee or something? If you’re not too busy, that is.’
Meryl promised to ring her soon, watching as her new friend disappeared from view. Still a forlorn figure but with a more purposeful stride than before.
Back at the flat she quickly unpacked her groceries. Still a few hours until Miroslaw arrived so she decided to strike while the iron was still hot. She had Emily’s phone number in case of any emergency involving Tabbie but had thankfully never had to use it. Until now.
‘Emily? Hello there, it’s Meryl, Tabbie’s boss. Sorry to bother you but I just wanted to run something by you if you have a minute.’
Meryl quickly outlined her meeting with Susan, carefully omitting any mention of the cancer diagnosis. She didn’t feel it was her place to share such information and, judging by Emily’s responses, she was pretty sure Susan hadn’t confided in her.
‘She just seemed really down and when we were having a drink she mentioned her fiftieth birthday was coming up butthat she wasn’t planning on celebrating it. It just struck me as really sad so I was wondering …’
Before she could finish, Emily jumped in.
‘I had absolutely no idea it was her birthday soon. Or even what age she was. The truth is, I only really know her through book club and the odd social gathering. I’ve always found her a tad irritating to be honest. A bit of a gossipmonger who knows everything about everyone. I don’t really know who her friends are or if she has any. I think it was Esther Thompson who introduced her to me but they never struck me as particularly close. I know she’s never been married and she works from home but that’s about it.’
There was a brief pause as both women contemplated what appeared to be a rather sad and lonely existence compared to their own busy and generally happy lives. Emily broke their reverie first.
