Page 178 of Not My Type
“Mama it’s a small one,” I say and show her.
“So is a man do that!?” She gasps. Mommy erupts into laughter, her bright eyes taking in my overly dramatic grandmother.
“Calm down mommy,” she says. Everybody is immune to Mama’a dramatic ways.
“No Mama, a woman actually did it,” I say then I laugh. “Nickoi wouldn’t make a man do it.”
“Nickoi a good bwoy,” mommy says.
“Ohh okay,” Mama mutters. “So when you a come over?”
Instantly I grow quiet. This is the main reason I called but mi never really think bout how mi a go tell them. “Soo Nickoi wants me to live with him and I um... said
yes,” I say, hardly looking in the camera. They are deadly quiet.
“Why?” Mommy asks and I shrug.
“Maybe he wants us to get a little more serious,” I say shyly. Lawd mi hate this.
“As much as mi like Nickoi mi nuh wah you a live with him because mi nah go deh see yuh fi know if him a treat yuh bad or them something deh,” Mama’s face in a frown.
My mother looks as if she’s in deep thoughts. “Zara yuh know say this is a big step right?”
“I know,” I simply say.
“Are you ready for it?” She asks.
Am I? “I don’t know mommy,” I admit. I don’t know exactly what is there to be ready for, I’m already his girlfriend.
“You’re gonna be responsible for yourself and a man now, so you basically a full time girlfriend which will be okay I guess but wah you go do if certain stuff come?” I know this was coming.
What she a try say? Mommy nah be clear at all. “Like what?” I ask, wondering if she’s thinking about pregnancy.
“Zara yuh know wah mi mean. If it happen it would affect you enuh because you still in school and you not working yet so yuh affi be careful. And mi know you could a never make that happen after mi warn yuh so much time,” she says.
“I’m on pills mommy,” mi tired a say this.
“You’re almost 22 so you can make your own decisions, but is this something that you want?” I stay silent, contemplating.
“Yeah... I guess so,” I let out.
“Okay baby,” she says. Mama looks sad.
“Mama mi a go still come around yuh like mi still live with you enuh,” I say in an effort to comfort her.
“That a nuh mi problem mi just nuh wah yuh get hurt,” she sighs. “But God will protect you.”
Amen, my subconscious claps.
Mama always make me get emotional enuh.
I hold the camera away from my face and wipe my eyes before the tears falls.
“Yes so I’m wondering which restaurant I should go to,” I change the topic.
“Fi yuh birthday?” Mommy beams.
“Yes,” I retort.
