Page 257 of Not My Type
“Jah Jah,” he sighs, sitting down. I’m fuming at this point.
“If mi never come and hear you and yuh murdera fren dem mi wouldn’t know this!” I argue and he puffs his spliff. He’s getting angry, but stays quiet. Dangerously calm too. Zara... leave him alone.
“Mi cya believe say you do this... what would Mama and mommy think? You were literally there like you never know nutt’n while we a talk like idiot! Mi know seh yuh into badness but mi never know you this deep in it. If it was the drugs alone it wouldn’t be so bad but yuh out yer killing people and getting away with it. Unuh a really criminal!” I shout.
He continues to smoke his weed while rocking his legs. “Why mi know this would a happen? Cause people always seh shit in the moment. Yuh seh you understand mi in a badness now you a seh yuh never know mi this deep in it... Zara badness a badness and dem thing yah happ’m.” He says making my anger flare more.Calm down Zara.
“So why was it a secret!” I shout, moving closer to him.
“Cause mi know you would a behave this way,” he simply says. “Know you never understand yuh just did a chat off yuh mouth.”
“How yuh mean mi never understand?!” I raise my voice at him again.
“Watch how you a talk to me,” he warns.
“Wah yah go do kill mi like yuh do Carlos and Talia?!” I move closer to him. Lawd Jesus.
He stares at me for a while before he puffs his weed and smiles. “First of all Talia alive, and mi nuh put mi hand pan woman. Her father dead doh, and a mi kill him. Do I regret it? No. Would I do it again if I could? Yes. And you know why? Because him mek wi affi bury innocent Gina yesterday and leave har youth behind.” He barely takes a breath before he continues, it’s the most I’ve ever heard him speak in one go.
“Mi tell him say him a go feel back the pain weh me and me friend dem feel especially Rick and he did feel it back and Talia did too. Anuh like mi a go around and just kill people fi no reason anybody weh mi ever kill a dem try fi hurt me. Mi never start a war yet!” he says with venom laced through his voice.
I stare at him and he gulps his liquor aggressively before he smiles, looking directly in my eyes. He acts... so weird sometimes.
“Now that yuh know I’m a monster, angel Zara, and yuh know now that I’m not just into drugs, mi scam and mi kill people too, wah yuh plan fi do?” his voice raised a bit, shaking the living room.
I step back, no longer in the mood to argue.
“Mi a go just leave yuh place,” I mumble, trying so hard to hold back the tears. Mi a do so good enuh.
“Do yuh thing,” he says still smoking. Him nuh care? That’s Nickoi Zara him a go hide it. His phone starts ringing and he answers it. “Nickoi everything alright now?” She asks and I don’t know why, but this hurts me.
We’re on the verge of breaking up and she’s already checking up on him? My anger flares again and I grab the phone and it falls out of my hand and splinters.Zara look wah yuh do!Mi nuh care.
“You and this bitch deh?” Mi not even care bout the phone weh mash up. Mi swear yow.
“Yo! Why yuh nuh bill? Look wah yuh do to man phone!?” he gets up, my heart reaches my throat. “Yuh seh you a go leave and yuh seh mi a murdera wah yuh still want yasso?!” he towers over me. I push his chest. He grabs my hand. His voice drop extremely low through gritted teeth as he speaks.
“Yuh see how long yah push mi? Bill yuhself yer? Nah talk to yuh again,” he walks away, and I grab his hand. Zara mi know yuh angry but stop and just leave. Mi have a bad feeling enuh.
“Yuh don’t care if mi leave? Nickoi yuh deh with Juaqína?” I forcefully turn his face to me and he yanks my hand away.
He forces me up in the wall, towering over me. “Zara yah push me enuh!” he voice thick with warning, but there’s something else there, something more dangerous, like he’s at his breaking point, anger consumes me. I shove his chest, his hand closing around my neck, I shove him again. He pushes me further into the wall, pinning me down. Jesus! Zara mi a sit this one out... mi a meltttttttttt!
“Boss.... everything alright?” It’s Joe.
His grip around my neck tightens. I glare up at him through my lashes. He’s glaring too.
“As much as yuh push mi to the edge and mi feel like mi would a box yuh dung, mi a wol it! Mi nah put mi hand pon yuh cause mi nuh wah hurt you. Mi wah yuh leave because mi wah yuh find better, smaddy weh nah go hide things from you and hurt people and mek yuh be a target,” his body is shaking from the sheer force of the anger he’s keeping at bay. “Mi nuh deh with Juaqína either cause a you mi love, and nut’n cyaa’ go change that. This nah go work though, cause you a look fi a perfect relationship and mi cyaa’ give yuh that nuh matter how hard mi try.”
“Alright... boss just... just let her go...” Joe is hesitant.
He turns his gaze to Joe, much longer than he should, Joe steps back slowly. Then he releases my throat and disappear through the door.
“Yuh kno’ mi a try but... dawg mi nuh know.” I hear him saying to Joe outside. He bites his lip and slam his fist in his car, I jerk back, the alarm goes off. Then he hisses. “Mi nuh wah be like him, mi nuh wah be like him but she bring out the worst inna mi. Just affi a gwaan walk off the anger.”
I stand in place, lips trembling.
I realize that I’m wrong... but it’s too late. Omg.
