Page 265 of Not My Type
“Mi just nuh have nuh appetite,” I shrug, his glare never leaving me. He isn’t really glaring though, if you get what I’m sayinggg.
“Because we lef?” This feels so awkward.
“Nickoi can you let that go. Please?” I ask softly, because I don’t have the strength to argue. I’ve been doing that a lot lately. Too much. And yuh never used to stay so.
He opens his mouth wanting to say something, but instead, he sits down next to me. I shift to give us some space, but before I can move too far, his hand grips the waistband of my shorts, pulling me back. His eyes lock onto mine, and I’m caught in the intensity of his stare, unable to look away. Ouuu.
“This shit affect me too enuh Zara, mi just deal with things the way me used to, by nuh show it. You cry, you lose you appetite and dem thing deh. You know wah me do? Mi drink and smoke all 10 spliff a day and constantly work just fi avoid mi thoughts. You think this easy fi me?” I stay quiet, staring at him.
I don’t know what to say. He chuckles to himself. “When mi use to see mi bredda a talk bout Suzanne like him love har and dem thing deh mi used to a pree seh him a move like clown, but since mi have you or did have you it’s like mi whole perspective of relationship change,” I start smiling when he says that. Should I tell him I’m pregnant now? Yes!
“Mi have wul heap a ex weh mi and dem breakup and mi nuh tek more than a day fi get over them but you... mi did miss you the whole time,” he bites his lip.
“Excuse me,” my mother smiles, handing him a bowl of soup before leaving, the door clicking shut behind her.
“Mi know yuh nuh love soup but drink it,” he says getting closer to me.
I watch him, the spoon hovering over my lips. He lifts it to my mouth, and I open, swallowing the warmth, the tension thick between us.
Awww him love yuh enuh Zara if yuh nuh see that yuh blind.
I know and I love him too.
Once he’s done feeding me, he smirks. “Yuh appetite back now Mami?” he asks and I smile.
“Yes,” I blush. He puts down the cup and takes up a bag.
“Now, mi buy yuh favorite,” he says taking out a KFC box.
I laugh. “Mi never tell yuh seh Zinger a mi favorite,” I say.
See you come back alive now.
“Well a me seh that,” he says before he starts putting fries in my mouth.
When I’m done eating the fries he gives me the burger. I put it to the side
before I hold his face. “I’m sorry for everything that I said to you. I was just frightened and scared. It doesn’t change anything because I feel the same about you and I didn’t tell anybody about it... still held it down,” I say and he bites my lip. Butterflies!
“So?” he asks, his teeth grazing my bottom lip, and I can’t look away from his eyes, heart racing.
“I want to come back, I want to have you back,” I say, and he chuckles low, his grip tightening around me.
“Yuh never lose me,” he says, and I blush, climbing on him. I hug him tightly, a smile creeping onto my face as his hands slide down to grab my ass.
I get off him, gently pushing him onto the bed before climbing on top again. “Look, I said I understood you were in badness, drugs, all of that. But I didn’t think you were actually out here killing people. I said I understood, but I wasn’t ready to see it, to witness it. It’s new to me. I don’t even know what I was thinking, but I guess... I’ll work with whatever you’re doing,” I say, my voice soft but steady.
“Yuh sure?” he asks, his eyes searching mine. I nod, trying to stay calm. “Why you a do this?” he presses, his voice low, almost like he’s trying to understand me.
“Because I love you, and I don’t want to ever lose you again. So mi a go just accept it,” I tell him, my words calm but my pulse telling a different story.
“But mi nuh wah you a do nutt’n weh yuh nuh wah fi a do because yuh nuh wah los-” I press my index finger to his lips.
“Nickoi, I’ve already made my decision,” he starts smiling. Watch the lady!
“Ah,” his hands up in surrender.
I snuggle into him, my head on his chest, listening to his heartbeat. He’s my heartbeat. We’re both quiet for a while, and I’m trying to figure out how to tell him I’m pregnant. Jesus this hard cause mi nuh know how him a guh react. Just tell him..
