Page 45 of Not My Type
“Sometimes I don’t have what?” he inquires, and I shake my head. The tone nuh right.
“Never mind,” I tell him.
He just stares at me, and there it goes again. The darkness and the frigid, blank look in his eyes.I want to know if it’s something he controls or that’s just him. I gulp and look away. Why did I start this up?
“Zara” he calls and my eyes find him again.
“Talk to me nuh,” he sighs sitting in front of me. My chest tightens.
Talk to him nuh Zara.
“Sometimes you don’t have no emotion in your eyes and sometimes you do, and it scares me,” I look down. He’s awfully quiet, making this even worse.
“Mi nuh know wah you a talk bout,” he says after a while.
“Okay,” I breathe. “There is this thing about you that scares me. It reminds me of that night.”
His face softens. “Sorry about that,” his husky voice slightly gentle.
“You have a dark side where your eyes lack emotion, and I saw it the night you had the gun on Mr. Perry. Then you have another time when you seem like a normal person who has feelings,” I explain and he cups his palm over his face.
“Me born in a the ghetto yuh zeet? So certain things me affi get used to before mi did even ready,” he pauses. He takes a deep breath and continues.
“Mi watch mi own God father kill mi father enuh, and it scar mi. I have darkness in me. But mi never know seh mi could feel certain way again and you bring out th...” he stops himself.
“What do I bring out?” my eyes narrow.
“It hard fi say cause mi nuh really know how you a go take it,” he tells me.
It’s funny how we’re both holding back because of the same thing.
I sigh. “Just say it.”
“Yuh mek mi feel like there is more to me... like a little light yuh know. That’s why yuh fascinate me so much cas you mek mi feel alive,” his voice, a sexy rumble.
“Um... wow I um,” I say, feeling tongue tied. Again. I hold his hand and he meets my stare.
“You do something to me too, and that’s why I find you intriguing because I don’t normally look at men like you, if you get what I mean,” I saying hoping to not offend him.
“Mi hope yuh know seh mi nah judge yuh enuh,” I add and he chuckles.
You are my subconscious teases.
I’m quiet for a while, thinking of the best way to construct what I’m about to say. “So, if mi tell you say mi ago deh with you, how you would a feel?” I’m blushing hard.
His eyes darken as he smiles— it’s so beautiful, displaying his braces and his dimples. “Words can’t explain how mi feel... just sup’m bout yuh,” he rocks his legs and licks his lip. “Yah go love it here.”
So conceited... I like it. His eyes aren’t leaving mine— they’re flickering with carnalities. I stand to my feet and straddle his lap.
“I guess I will... ” I wrap my hands around his shoulder and move to his ear. “Like it here.” He slaps my ass and grips me so tight.
“Man ago deal with yuh enuh but mi nuh love do the talking thing,” his voice is so deep, making his words alluring. I can’t stop smiling. I wonder if I’m signing up for hell. Cause why mi feel so ecstatic? Only things weh nuh good for us feel so good enuh.
Well...
He grabs my neck with a cold stare. I throw my head back. I feel so enraptured, though he’s aggressive.
“Look in a mi eye nuh,” he demands, his voice husky.
