Page 50 of Not My Type
I stare at my grandma, I feel my hands shaking. Lord have mercy. “M-mama u-um...” I can’t say it. Bwoy Zara tonight a nuh yours at all, stay safe though, my subconscious sighs.
Wah mi a go tell her seh? I mean, I can have boyfriends— but not exactly Nick. She’s disappointed. Her unwavering blank stare tells it all.
“Zara wah mi just see gwaan?” She asks in a stern tone and I gulp.
I know what you’re thinking. Why is she acting like I’m a child? Well, that’s Mama. She raised me, so she always wants to oversee my relationships— my life actually.
“Eeeh?” she presses. I attempt to speak but nothing comes out. “Use your mouth nuh because mi nuh understand,” she adds, resting her hands on her hips.
“You are sneaking out with boys now?” She asks and I just stand there.
“Umm ...” Cat caught your tongue?
“Zara yuh need fi talk,” she moves a little closer to me. I breathe out.
“U-um Mama...” I start and the sound of my voice is pitiful. It’s slightly hoarse since this night hasn’t been the best for me.
“You’re turning into a woman now enuh Zara and you can date whoever you want but why him?” Mama questions, surprising me.
How she so calm?
“Mama, I know that he looks like a thug but he’s diff-” She holds up her hand abruptly, stopping me from speaking.
“Wah get in a you?”
It’s so weird how Gavin asked the same thing. What got into me? Wah them mean? I see something different in that man that apparently nobody else nuh see because them busy a judge him.
Jeez... den a really Zara this? Queen of judging finally decide fi resign from it?
No mon unuh stop read deh and clap har.
I sit down, trying to gather myself with my eyes set on the outside. Then I spot the Range turning at the intersection. Jesus s’pose him stop? My heart starts beating violently. Then the horn blows as the car accelerates pass my house. I look down.
“Hm,” she sighs and sits beside me. She doesn’t seem angry — just nonchalant.
“Why are you acting like this Mama... so weird?” I question with my face contorted in confusion. She’s not the insouciant type especially when the situation involves me and that’s why I’m puzzled.
“I’m allowing you to make your own mistake,” she mutters. I sigh.
“What if he turns out to be a good person?” I ask her.
“A 72 years me deh pon God earth fa enuh and mi can tell you say that boy is no good,” she gets up.
I stare at her. I’d be a liar if I say I’m not hurt. She steps into the living room with her hands behind her. Then she enters her bedroom, without uttering a word to me. I sigh to myself.
Let it go, Zara. It is what it is, the girl in my head says.
Deciding to get some rest, I lock up the house and head to my room. As soon as I’m under the comforter, my eyes flutter shut. But not for long. My phone is vibrating underneath the pillow. I pat my way to it and press it against my ear with my eyes closed.
“Mhm?” My brows furrow.
“Who you a talk to so?” a deep, sexy voice rasps in my ears. Immediately, I snap my eyes open.
“Chro, I was sleeping,” I smile sheepishly. I look at the time and realize that I’ve been sleeping for two hours.
Cyaa believe a really 1 o’ clock already.
“I figured,” he retorts, loud music blasting in his background.
