Page 96 of Not My Type
“I’ve been through breakups, embarrassment everything but this hurts me differently. Do I look like a fool to you?” I ask, tears forming in my eyes.
“You nah be clear,” he retorts. “Jah know mi nuh know wah yaw talk bout,” he adds.
“You have a Latina who offered me 5k to take her pictures. She literally spoke to you next to me and I was just there like an idiot a push away my ex for you,
thinking that you’re doing the same for me and you’re in a full-blown relationship... playing with me!?” I sob. He looks away.
I wipe my tears and pick up my phone looking at my face. My silk press still looks good, but my eyes are a mess—puffy and red and I have the baby shower soon. Mi tell yuh fi keep it cool enuh..
He sighs. “Mi nuh deh with her no more,” he says. He’s barely audible. “Wi lef.”
“So tell me... what’s her name Jemmy Nye or is it Talia?” my voice shaky as I sob.
“Lowe that nuh b,” he’s trying to avoid this.
“Don’t call mi b,” I narrow my eyes, fist clenching.
I attempt to open the door and he locks it. “Lowe the door,” his voice serious.
“Look, I don’t want to be a clown anymore. I don’t want to be seen with you. If you feel accomplished that you got me, go ahead and take your flowers. I’m sure you have better girls to focus on. I’m not like your Latina so I’m gonna go my separate way. And don’t come a mi yard because I’m done!” I shout at him, his eyes are dark, staring at me blankly. Not a trace of emotion.
It’s like nothing I’m saying is getting to him. At all. He drags a hand down his face. “Ah,” he mutters. I don’t know why, but his reaction—or lack of one—hurts more than I expected. Swear.
“Wah wi a do?” he asks, his voice dry, detached.
“Mi a go a my yard so open the damn door!” I move closer to him.
“Easy yuh self, mi a bring you home so mi know you good,” he says.
“Mi nuh wah you concern about me,” I hiss. He drives off, like he’s trying to kill us both. I don’t react. I don’t even care right now. I cross my arms, lips pouting, brows puled together. The tension a kill mi. Mi just well wah come out.
I’ve probably sighed a thousand times in the last ten minutes.
The moment he parks at my gate, I swing the door open and step out, slamming it shut behind me.
33. NEWS
Nickoi
I stare at Zara as she storms inside her house and sigh heavily to myself. Me and Zara lef? I’m still trying to process it. Maybe not fi long or maybe fi good, who knows?
Jah know, a foolishness this. Am I mad? Yes. But I’m even more mad at myself because I should’ve left Talia earlier. The truth is, I can’t just change overnight when this is how I’ve been ever since I’ve known myself.
Sigh.. I hiss. Mi a try enuh, and I know I feel something for Zara but it’s so foreign to me. How she fi think mi wah use her?
Yuh think yuh love har? My subconscious asks.
Mi nuh know, mi d’evu understand wah mi feel. Should I go and talk to her? No, give har some space.
I look at her house and sigh before I drive off. I really want to talk to her, but mi a just follow mi mind. I can’t even get her out of my head, it just keeps replaying over and over. Mi o’ just bun a spliff. Mi nuh have no high grade on mi and mi nuh trust certain places.
Cya drop yuh guard fi a one smoke.
I open the pocket of my car and take out my vape. I drag it and exhale the smoke. She seh she love me. She mean that? Hmm... I think she does.
She said it with sincerity but I just can’t understand how someone like her could see herself loving a piece of shit like me. Is it new to me? No. Nuff girl seh that to me but mi know it’s just for the money or because theywant to be called my girlfriend but when Zara tells me that she loves me it just feels different. Zara isn’t just any girl. It feels like a the first time mi a hear it to how Zara said it. I’m confused because mi don’t know if a the same thing mi a feel. How mi even know if mi love her?
Yuh feel it... probably yuh fi talk to somebody.
