Page 27 of Let it Sizzle
The tears come hard and fast, choking me before I can even breathe them out. I scrub them away with shaking hands, but it’s no use.
I fold myself into the corner of the desk, wrapping my arms around my middle like I can hold myself together, but the cracks have already started. They run deep. From the bruises my father left behind to the scars that asshole in the city carved into my heart. Every voice that ever whispered that I was too much, not enough, too broken rise up in a crescendo, shouting one word: Levi.
I found the only man who ever made me feel like maybe—just maybe—I was worth loving.
And I blew it.
But even as the ache throbs within me, even as the guilt claws at my throat, there’s this tiny ember inside me that refuses to go out.
Because deep down, I know why he left.
It’s not because he doesn’t love me.
It’s because of this mess with Byron.
It shredded something in him too.
He’s hurting. Just like me.
And if I know anything about Levi Mercer, it’s that when he loves, he loveshard. Enough to destroy himself if it means protecting the people he cares about.
The thought doesn't really make it hurt less. But it keeps me breathing. Barely.
I don’t even realize I’ve driven home until I’m slamming the door behind me, collapsing onto the couch with my head in my hands.
I can barely catch my breath when there’s a knocking at the door. For a second, I think it’s Levi, here to save the day, but instead Samira’s voice pierces through the darkness.
“Serena open up! Byron told me what happened.”
“I don’t want to see anyone.”
“I’m not anyone, I’m your sister and trust me I’ll karate chop this door open if I have to.”
Even through my tears I laugh because that is my little sister for you. I open the door and sit back on the couch.
She crosses the room, sits down beside me, and pulls me into a hug.
I don't even hesitate. I burrow into her, the way I used to when I was little and scared and didn’t know how to be brave.
"I messed everything up," I whisper.
"Hey." She pulls back just enough to look me dead in the eye. "You’re not that scared girl anymore. You’re not the kid hiding under the bed waiting for someone to save her. You saved yourself. You built a life. You love with your whole heart. That’s not weakness. That’s strength."
I swallow hard, her words carving through the self-hatred trying to take root.
"You don't have to be perfect to deserve love," she adds fiercely. "And if Levi doesn’t see that... he’s a goddamn idiot."
“He’s not the idiot I am. And now Byron is angry with me.”
“He’ll get over it. You let the fear get bigger than you.”
I let out a choked laugh, wiping my face. The same words I told her that night she’s using on me.
She’s right. I let the fear of Byron overcloud everything, including my love for Levi. And yes, I love him more than anything in this world. Because he makes me feel whole. I need to fix this. I need to fix us.
"But what if Byron never forgives me?"
Samira’s smile is soft and sad. "Then that’s on him. Not you. You’re allowed to choose yourself."
