Page 24 of Run For Me
You_Run_Ill_Chase: You shouldn’t be ashamed of who you are, of the thoughts you have. They’re normal.
The way he’s talking tonight, it’s different from before. The other times, he was flirty and demanding. Tonight, he seems… I don’t know, just different. Like he’s in a dark place and is looking for someone to connect with. Like maybe he’s the one who needs to know his thoughts are normal. That he’s normal. Maybe he’s lonely.
Lonely like me?
DarkRaven: Are you okay?
You_Run_Ill_Chase: Fine. Why do you ask?
DarkRaven: You seem different…
You_Run_Ill_Chase: You don’t know me well enough to say something like that. I don’t write my secrets down in journals. I keep them in my head.
I type out my response, then delete it because I can’t get into this sort of conversation with him. I just can’t. I’m supposed to be telling him to keep the journal and leave me alone. My boyfriend is lying right beside me, and here I am talking to a man who sent me a picture of his man juice. A picture that really turned me on, but I can never say that. No one would understand that I liked seeing it.
Well, maybe he would, but I am not telling him that.
I go back and forth on it for a bit and finally decide to send another message. One that will keep the conversation going and even dig a little deeper. What do I have to lose? So, I type it out and hit the green arrow.
DarkRaven: In your head where they eat you alive?
You_Run_Ill_Chase: Yes.
DarkRaven: Itch at you from the inside? So badly you want to tear your brain out and scream at the top of your lungs, even though you know no one will care?
You_Run_Ill_Chase: Yes. Yes. Yes.
DarkRaven: What are your secrets?
The dots dance for a minute, and I wait on bated breath. My skin crawls with the anticipation, wondering if he truly is like me. Are we the same kind of person? Truly birds of a feather? Or is he just making this up like some sort of sick joke?
You_Run_Ill_Chase: If I told you that, I’d have to kill you.
Chapter Seventeen
Him
This girl is more amazing than I ever could have imagined. Even without knowing me, she gets me. Which is… a tough thing to understand. I’m pissed I let my guard down, letting my shitty mood allow me to be vulnerable with a stranger. Vulnerable is something I don’t do. I don’t connect with people. Don’t talk about serious shit. Don’t let people in.
But is she a stranger? I don’t think so. I’m a stranger to her, absolutely, but I know who she is now.
That was her in the library, I know it. Not only by looks, but I felt it.
She’s like me.
I just know it.
The journal intrigued me.
Talking to her on the app was fun.
But seeing her?
My god, I think I’m in love. I’ve never had that sort of reaction to a woman before, something deeper than just physical. The way my chest warmed and my hands itched to touch her, to runmy fingers along her soft, creamy skin. The way I wanted to lose myself in her bright blue eyes, literally jump into them and live there forever. In a place I would be safe. Wrap my fingers in her blonde and pink hair and tug…
Blonde and pink, just like the photo.
The ripped jeans, T-shirt, messenger bag, and torn up shoes are fitting. I don’t know what I was expecting, but it all suits her. The whole look. She’s damn near perfect. Not even close to my regular type, but the big-boobed bitches with lip filler and too much makeup were just a distraction. Something to keep my mind busy. This girl? She’s something that could cure me. Maybe not completely, but enough that I don’t feel like I’m going mad every goddamn day of my tedious life.
