Page 4 of Run For Me
Watched
Oh my god this is so embarrassing. I can’t believe I wrote them down.
If I hadn’t promised myself I wouldn’t destroy this book, this page would be gone. I’d rip it out and burn it.
Okay, I took a small break from this. I made dinner and listened to music. I feel a little better that I wrote my thoughts down, but I can’t go back and read it. It’s too much. I can’t help that I have these thoughts. I just wish I knew why they were there!
Why am I thinking like this?
I stop there, unable to read any more.
My dick is so hard I feel like it’s going to erupt right here in the middle of the hallway. I grip the journal tightly, gritting my teeth as I take off my backpack and shove it inside.
I plan to get this back to its rightful owner—I just need to read more first.
Chapter Four
Sailor
I burst into the bathroom and find the nearest stall, run inside, then lock it with trembling fingers. I sit on the toilet, place my hands flat on my thighs, close my eyes, and breathe. Long, deep breaths go in, and I let them out slowly.
I do this over and over and over again, until my hands stop shaking and my chest stops hurting. I pull my phone from my bag, the bag I’ve checked over a hundred times to make sure I haven’t overlooked it—I haven’t. It’s not in there.
My journal is gone.
I have forty-five minutes before my next class, so I gather my things and make my way outside. The sky, like most days, is overcast and threatening rain. Normally, I like the rain. Right now? I like nothing.
I click the picture of a smiling Sam that’s on my home screen, and when it pulls up his info, I press the call button. It rings three times before he answers.
“Hey, baby,” he says cheerily.
“I lost my journal,” I blurt out as I walk further onto the quad that has groups of students all over. Everyone around me seems so happy, and me… I’m having the worst day of my life.
“What? How?”
I shake my head as I keep walking, tears threatening to spill. “I don’t know, but it’s gone. It must have fallen out of my bag.”
“Did you retrace your steps?”
“Yes. I’ve only had two classes so far, and it’s in neither. I’ve checked already.”
“Did you check lost and found?”
Damn…
I stop, looking back at the buildings. “No, I didn’t think to do that.”
“Okay,” he says in a calm voice. “Go to the lost and found and check there, but it’s possible someone hasn’t turned it in yet. It hasn’t been long, Sailor. You can check back tomorrow, too.”
“I can’t go that long without it, Sam. I’ve never gone that long…”
“Baby, listen to me.” I nod and keep walking. “I know how important the journal is to you because of your mom, but losing it doesn’t mean you love her any less.” I stop dead in my tracks. What did he just say? “I know you’re attached to it because of her, but—”
“What are you saying?”
I’m terrified someone will find it and read it, and then know the crazy things that go on in my head! This has nothing to do with my attachment to the damn book or my mother.
He sighs. “I’m just saying I know you keep things from your parents and grandparents because they’re gone, and you want them with you still.”
