Page 96 of Run For Me
It’s something we’ve talked about before, only under different circumstances. Though he didn’t say, I know what he means. When we meet this time, it will be without the mask. It will be me finding out who he is. It will be… more. We’ve been working our way to this point for a while. It feels like forever and not any time at all.
Me:Before we get to that, we should discuss something else.
JT:I said nothing had to change.
Me:But what if I want it to?
JT:I told you that you can stop this whenever you want.
Me:I don’t want it to stop.
I should have added that I want more to the end, but I’m not that brave. Jaxon is smart, and I think he’ll understand what I’m saying without saying it. At least, I hope he does. The thought is terrifying, and I’m afraid I’m ruining this entire thing by allowing my feelings to get in the way, but I guess there is nothing I can do about it now.
JT:Tell me what you want.
I frown at my phone. I’m sure it’s not that he doesn’t know what I’m saying, it’s that he wants me to say it. He wants it to come from me.
Me:I want us to be together—officially.
Once it’s sent, my stomach drops, and I think I’m going to throw up. I trust Jaxon, but getting comfortable with him with stuff like this is going to take time. It’s much easier to give him my body than it is to give my heart, my soul, and all the other pieces that make up me.
My phone buzzes and I grab it.
JT:I’ve already told you that you’re mine, and I’m yours.
JT:What more do you need?
Me:I need to hear it outside of sex.
The words are sent before I have a moment to think. I hadn’t known that’s what this was until he asked, and my fingertips flew across the keyboard. But as I stare at my response, I know it’s true.
Everything he’s said has been in the heat of the moment. Right before we have sex or during. I hear people say things like that, but once the high wears off, they change their mind. I need to know it’s for real.
JT:Tell me where you want to meet so I can say it to your face.
My jaw drops, and after staring at my phone for a ridiculous amount of time, I look up and around my room. I could invite him here, but that seems awkward as hell. We’ve been here together but inviting him over to just hang out seems so… boring. What would we do?
And that thought has me worried about something else.
What if we have nothing in common? What if we do this whole thing and nothing works out? What if we realize we hate each other? What if I lose the anonymity of him and I’m no longer interested? Am I that fucked up?
Don’t think that way, Sailor.
Okay, not thinking that way…
I go through all the places I know, which aren’t many. Going out is relatively new to me. Only since meeting Amelia, really. But there is one place that stands out in my mind.
Me:Black Velvet?
JT:I’ll be there in an hour.
An hour? Shit!
I scramble out of bed, dropping my phone and running to the bathroom. I scrub my face, brush my teeth, and put dry shampoo in my hair before brushing it and throwing it half up. The pink is fading, and I need to touch it up, but there’s no time for that now. I wish I had more time to take a shower, but I can’t risk him getting there first.
It takes me twenty minutes to find something to wear. Even though he’s seen me a hundred times by now, I still feel like I need to look perfect for this moment. Like I need to show off. It makes no sense. As I get into my car and start to drive, it all sinks in—how much this will change things.
I’m going to meet him. I’m going to see his face.
