Page 54 of A Summer of New Beginnings
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Josh took the seat opposite her and smoothed down his tie. He looked handsome in a suit, but she had no clue what to say to himorwhy he had done this after their last phone conversation.
He glanced round and lowered his voice. ‘Look, I know this is all a bit…’
‘Weird? Stalkery? You pick an adjective,’ she hissed. ‘Why the hell didn’t you let me know this was all your doing? Instead of allthe ridiculous cloak and dagger stuff.’
He held out his hands and shrugged. ‘But who else could it have been, Zara? Unless you’ve met someone else in the last… what…week?’
Uncomfortable at his words and unwilling to address them, she simply replied, ‘You didn’t answer my question.’
He sighed and pleaded with her with his eyes. ‘Because I knew you wouldn’t come, Zara. Not after we spoke onthe phone.’
‘Well, if that was the case, why go to all this trouble?’
He reached across the table and tried to take her hand, but she angrily snatched it away and he balked at her reaction. ‘Like I said on the phone, I’m not ready to let you go.’
Exasperated, she huffed air through puffed cheeks. ‘But youdidlet me go, Josh. You slept with your ex. I caught you kissing her, for goodness’ sake.So what’s changed?’ It was a rhetorical question, seeing as she knew nothing had.
‘I just want you in my life. I can’t stop thinking about you. Aboutusand what we had together.’
This was not how she’d expected her night to go. She inwardly rolled her eyes at herself for even hoping that it might be Lachy that arrived. Disappointment tugged at her insides, knotting around the poor excited butterfliesthat had danced there only minutes before. ‘Josh, I loved you. I did. But you made your choice and I’ve had to deal with the aftermath of that. And now I’m trying to move on. You just have to let me. And, anyway, what about Caleb? And what about Katie? What the hell would she think if she knew you were here? I’m presuming she has no clue.’ Her voice was a little louder and a little wobblierthan she intended.
Josh glanced round the room again with a fake smile plastered on his face. ‘Look, let’s go up to the room and talk properly, eh? We can order room service. Take the champers with us.’
She was happy to leave the dining room now that people were staring. But she wasn’t sure that she wanted to be in a bedroom with Josh. But the alternative was the bar and more observers.
Shestood and glared down at him. ‘Well, I’m not sleeping with you, in case that’s what you were planning,’ she spat before turning and stomping away.
Once inside the suite she slumped onto the sofa and Josh followed her in, carrying the champagne and two glasses.
‘Here, this’ll help.’ He smiled as he handed her a glass that was half liquid, half bubbles.
She took it but didn’t drink any; insteadshe placed it on the floor. ‘Josh, why are you here? Just tell me the truth. Is it for sex?’
His brow crumpled. ‘No, Zara. I’m not that kind of man. I thought you knew me better. I wanted to spoil you. I felt that you deserved this after what you’d been through. The accident and everything. Slumming it in some grotty farmhouse while you got over a concussion. And don’t worry, I’ll send a thankyou in some form to the bloke who rescued my girl.’ He grinned as he took a sip of his drink.
‘How do you know about all that?’And why the hell are you still calling me your girl when you cheated on me? And how dare you presume that Lachy’s house was a slum?In spite of her anger, none of the internal conversation manifested in reality.
He swallowed, placed his drink on the little side tablebeside the sofa and sat. ‘Your flatmate, Marcus? I called at your place and asked after you. I thought you’d be home but—’
‘You know very well his name is Marco. And why the hell were you at my flat?’
He rolled his eyes, but the smile remained in place. ‘Like I said, I wasn’t ready to let you go. Zara, we had something special. I loved what we had and I don’t want to lose that,’ he whisperedas he leaned closer and she caught the scent of that delicious aftershave he wore. He moved towards her until his lips were almost touching hers…
She pulled back. ‘Whoa! Hang on a damned minute, Josh. I asked you about Katie and Caleb. I want the truth.’
He sighed and rubbed his hands over his face. ‘Caleb is awesome. He’s such a bright kid. I can’t wait to get to know him even better.’ He loweredhis chin and brushed an imaginary thread off his trousers. ‘Me and Katie… that was just a silly mistake. I think I got caught up in the past for a while. But… I realised the past is the past for a reason. I realised on that day that you witnessed… well, me being a total prick, that it’syou. You’re the one I want, Zara. You’re the one I care about.’ He reached out and took her hand and sincerityshone from his eyes. ‘It’s you that I love.’
She gasped. He’d said it. He’d said the words she’d been desperate to hear for the longest time. Tears of confusion prickled at her eyes. What the hell did she do now?People make mistakes,she told herself. She’d made a huge one herself with Lachy – although it hadn’t felt that way at the time. But Lachy hadn’t done all the things that Josh had doneto welcome her back from her journey.Hehadn’t been the one to surprise her with a lavish hotel. Andhehadn’t been the one to tell her he loved her.
‘Zara,please.’ Josh squeezed her hand, bringing her back to the present. ‘Please say you’ll at least think about us. I can’t imagine not having you in my life. You have to admit that, before my idiotic regression to seventeen, we weresogoodtogether.’
She shook her head. ‘But, Josh—’
‘Don’t say no. Not now. Look, I’ll leave. I’ll give you space. I know that’s what you need. And I’ll do anything I can to make things right.’ He stood from the sofa. ‘Enjoy being here. Relax. I’ll go and find somewhere else to stay but please say you’ll think about what I’ve said, okay? Because I meant every word. I love you.’
She gazed up at himas he spoke. She wanted to believe his words. She wanted to trust him, but he would have to earn that trust again, if she decided to give him another chance. And it was still a big if.
