Page 59 of A Summer of New Beginnings
‘You look as beautiful as ever, don’t worry. I wasn’t even sure you’d be in but seeing as I have the day off, I thought I’d chance it. I brought coffee from your favourite place too. CaramelMachiatto.’ He held out a tray with two large, lidded paper cups.
‘You’d better come in.’
He followed her into the living room and sat down. ‘Here, take this and put them in some water eh?’ he instructed. ‘What have you been up to?’
She took the flowers and walked over to the kitchen. ‘Oh, nothing much. A bit of writing.’
‘So did you finally finish your novel?’
‘Yes, yes, I did. Turns outthe Highlands were quite inspirational.’
‘Is this it open on your laptop?’ he asked as he crossed to the dining table.
She walked over and closed the lid so he couldn’t pry. ‘Yes. Look, I’m going to go and change my top,’ she told him. ‘I won’t be a minute.’ Once inside the safety of her room she rested her head back against the door. There had been a time that having him in her apartment meantsteamy sex, butterflies and passion; but now she wasn’t sure how she felt. She slipped on her bra and a clean, newer T-shirt and walked back through to where he sat sipping his coffee.
‘Why are you here, Josh?’
‘I wanted to see you. To see if you’d had any more thoughts about us.’
She heaved a sigh. ‘You said you’d give me space.’
He nodded and cringed. ‘I did say that, didn’t I? Shit. Zara,I’m sorry. But I miss you. So, so much. I want to be able to hold you and kiss you again. If you’d just let me—’
She held up her hands. ‘Look, the flowers are beautiful. And I appreciate the coffee, but I need time to think. And I need to not see you whilst I’m doing that. You blur the edges, Josh. You confuse me.’
He stood and walked to stand only inches in front of her. ‘I understand. I reallydo.’ He slipped his hand into her hair. ‘And I wish I could turn back the clock and undo what I did. But please know that I would do anything to change things. Anything.’ He lowered his face and brushed his lips against hers; that familiar feeling of him washing over her as she closed her eyes and let the kiss happen.
Suddenly he stopped and pulled away. ‘Sorry. God, I’m an idiot. I’ll go. AndI’ll be waiting, Zara. You can count on that.’
He walked away and out of the apartment, leaving her standing there feeling even more confused than ever. Alone with space to think again, Zara sat back at the laptop and began to type.
*
On his return from work Marco brought coffee and snacks. He even brought dinner to her from the kitchen. He knew better than to read over her shoulder. Insteadhe sustained her energy by providing the things she was unwilling to break off for. It was exhilarating.
She felt free and she felt fine.
That night Marco played ‘Delilah’ by Florence and the Machine on his phone with the little portable speaker plugged in and they danced round the apartment, arms flailing and wide, wild smiles on their faces. Marco in his boxers and Zara in her pyjamas. Butthe whole time, in her mind, Lachy was dancing with her too.
