Page 85 of A Summer of New Beginnings
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Later as they ate pizza and drank wine by the twinkling lights of the Christmas tree Zara was deep in thought. She needed to speak to Lachy about the future and she anticipated it might be a difficult conversation.
‘Earth to Zara.’ He laughed as he ducked his head to make eye contact.
Shaking her head, she said, ‘Oh, gosh, sorry, I drifted off for a moment.’
He frowned and a look of concernchanged his expression. ‘Where did you drift off to?’
She sighed deeply. ‘Look, we need to talk.’
He straightened up and wiped his hands on a paper napkin. ‘Oh, I see. Nothing good ever comes from a conversation that starts off like that.’
‘It’s not what you think. Well, I don’t think it is.’
‘Come on, out with it. I’m a big lad. Lay it on me.’
‘Noah wants me to be his deputy editor.’
Hesquinted. ‘And that’s a bad thing because…?’
‘He basically hinted that he thinks I’m going to disappear off to the Highlands and live with you. And he doesn’t want to lose me. But I’ve never said that I’d do that. I think he feels I’m maybe not in the right mindset to do the travel job any more because I’m too distracted by your absence.’
He swallowed hard. ‘I see. So what are you saying?’
‘I love my job. I love writing, but he’s right. Iamdistracted by your absence. And therefore I’m not giving 100 per cent to my job. And you know me; I hate to give anything less than 100 per cent.’
Lachy lowered his gaze and his shoulders slumped. ‘I see.’
‘And long distance doesn’t work.Ever.So Noah says.’
He lifted his chin and whispered, ‘And what doyousay?’
With a pounding heart sheshrugged. ‘I think I agree.’
He nodded silently and swallowed hard. ‘Right… right. So… what you’re trying to tell me is… even though we love each other… this… this weekend is our last?’ The defeat in his voice almost broke her.
She frowned. ‘That depends onyou, Lachy.’
He closed his eyes and shook his head. ‘I can’t relocate to London, Zara. I’m so sorry. I would if I could but the croft,my land, I can’t go back to being a big-city lawyer again. I just… I can’t.’ He opened his eyes again and fixed his watery gaze on her. ‘I’d doanythingto make this work. I just… Ican’tmove to London. I’m so sorry.’
She closed her eyes and took a deep, calming breath as she searched for the courage she needed. ‘No, I know that. So there’s only one solution.’
Lachy sniffed and swiped at hiseyes and his words came out in a rush. ‘I want to say we can move past this. I want tobegyou not to give up on us, Zara. But the last thing I want is for you to be unhappy. I couldn’t do that to you.’
This wasn’t exactly going how she’d planned.
She reached over and took his hands in hers. ‘Lachy,stop, I need to ask you a question. And I need you to think about this because it’s huge, okay?’He nodded silently, his lip trembling.
‘Please can I move into the croft at Scourie with you?’
He inhaled sharply and the colour rapidly drained from his face. ‘What?’
Oh, shit. That’s not the reaction I wanted.‘I… I said please can I—?’
‘No, no, Iheardyou… but you were breaking up with me.’
She shook her head vehemently. ‘No! I wasn’t! I was trying to pluck up the courage but… I didn’twant to ask. The last time you mentioned it you immediately took it back, so I was worried you didn’t want me to. So I was trying to get you to ask me by dropping hints. But instead you thought I was breaking up with you! None of this has gone—’
