Page 79 of Venomous Lies
“Make you afraid?” she finished for me as I choked up. I nodded instead of speaking, and she let out a long, shaky exhale.
The silence between us was heavy, and it almost felt like the greenhouse itself was listening in on our conversation.
“My mom isn’t really someone I like to talk about,” I explained, finally forcing myself to meet Isla’s gaze. Hazel and amber eyes stared at me intently, and although there was no pity to be seen, I could feel strong emotions simmering just under the surface. “But I owe you an apology for how I was after the rut… I fucked up.”
“You did.” She nodded before a crooked smile curled herlips. “To be fair, I think in the end, webothfucked up. But I tried to explain things and?—”
“My incubus side took over,” I told her ruefully. Remembering Aizel and Zhara’s current fight, I knew that I couldn’t run or hide from what I’d done this time. If there was to be anything between Isla and me, then I had to tell her everything.
Even though it turned my stomach to think about it.
“And since we’re clearing the air, there’s more I need to tell you.”
“Okay…” Isla replied. The end of the word dragged, her brow scrunching up as if she was trying to figure out what I was going to say.
“Before the rut happened and everything…” I swallowed hard, “The times Aizel and I would go away, we’d leave to feed.”
“That makes sense, Echo.” She studied my worried face, seemingly puzzled by what I was trying to prepare her for. “You’re an incubus, and you need to feed.”
“Butafterthe rut,” I continued, forcing myself to get this out, “I fed on people, here at school, needing to just… feel.”
“You—” Her face paled.
“I think it was about three different women,” I told her, bracing my body for impact or yelling. Instead, Isla stilled, her soft breathing the only reason I could tell she was alive. “They didn’t make it through the experience, but at that point… I didn’t care. Every part of me wanted to forget you, to let anyone else take over, yet instead… Instead, there wasn’t anyone but you.”
Isla remained silent, eyes careful as she stayed still. I didn’t know how to handle this kind of reaction from awoman. Honestly, I was getting very close to the rambling territory.
“All the things I remember haunt me. It fucking gutted me to avoid your question and just leave you with the fall-out of my stupidity. My fault for brushing you off, but that’s not something I could face… Then, when you came back, you had a mate… I snapped.”
Isla licked her lips and slowly stood up. Despite my best efforts, my body tensed. Would she finally lash out with her voice or her fists? I wouldn’t even blame her if she did.
But she didn’t do any of that.
She stepped back a few steps from me. Whether she needed that distance from me because she was disgusted or pissed, I couldn’t tell.
“Witches have multiple mates, Echo,” she explained after a few minutes of uncomfortable silence. “Which I was trying to tell you after you asked me out on the date.”
“Wells explained that a few days ago,” I started, but I snapped my mouth shut when she held up a hand to silence me.
“And fated mates, at least for witches, aren’t something we can predict or control. Something I’m sure Wells also mentioned.” Her voice turned bitter at that. “I can deal with you having fed on people, even the ones after the rut… We weren’t together.”
“But?” I asked, knowing in my bones that there was more. There was always more when it came to bad things.
“You turning away and refusing to listen to me…” She took a deep breath. “It made me start to doubt myself and who I was. Your actions made me feel smaller, less, when all I wanted was a conversation. But instead of me, you had to hear it from someone else.”
My mouth dried, guilt twisting my gut.
“When I was growing up, plenty of people made me feel like I was a freak or that I needed to be less. That’s not something I’ll ever endure again.” Her tone was fierce even though her volume stayed even. “I’m me. Twisted magick and dark hobbies, along with a warped sense of justice if Allison is any indication. I refuse to make myself small again.”
“I wouldn’t want you to,” I interjected as I stood up, careful not to come too close to her—partially because I wasn’t sure I could handle it, and secondly, it didn’t seem like Isla would welcome it.
My heart was pounding in my chest. Would she be able to forgive me? Had I done enough damage that it was too late?
“But your actions did make me feel that way,” she replied bluntly.
My stomach dropped, blood rushing from my head at the hardened expression on her face.
“But…” She slowly stepped toward me, just a hint of friendliness softening her face. Reaching out a hand, her fingertips touched my arm. “I can see that it’s not a straightforward thing, what caused you to act like you did.”
