Page 7 of The Men of Summer
He nods. “That’s a lot to deal with, though. You probably shouldn’t have kept it bottled up for so long. Anyway, the point isn’t how you hurt my feelings by not trusting me, but damn, youdidhurt my feelings, dude!” Studying his feet, he shakes his head, then stares at me again. “You didn’t have to carry your burden on your own, or only with your man. What are friends for?”
Friends… I don’t have many of those. He’s right; opening up would do me good. I could use a friend for sure, yet I shrug it off. “Old habits die hard. I didn’t mean to hurt you; you are a friend and the bestwork wifeI could dream of.”
He slaps my back, muttering, “Ass…” No doubt at the moniker I used, but it makes him chuckle, nonetheless. “I wouldn’t dream of making Dante jealous, man. You two look so happy together.”
My cheeks redden. “Thank you.” BecauseIam the jealous one here… My voice raises a notch, as if I’m trying to convince myself. “We are happy…” And yet, my mind drifts back to Brea and Dante. Concerning. Disconcerting. Bewildering…
When he assumed he was straight, he couldn’t keep it in his pants and enjoyed one-night stands. Once he explored his attraction to me, he understood he was actually bi and couldn’t wait to get naked, eager to discover what gay sex entailed. I was thrilled to share the ride with him. I’m not the most adventurous or kinky guy around, but together, we explored what made the other tick, and being so in sync helped our feelings grow. Needless to say that I was stunned when he suggested adding toys to our fun. Nowadays, he’s obsessed with Jeremy sleeping in the next room and is afraid to make too much noise and wake him… Hence, our sex life has basically become nonexistent.
Realizing I spaced out again, I look up and eventually say, “I really appreciate your invitation today, and I’m sorry I’ve been—” I clear my throat to consider how to phrase my sentence, and sheepishly offer, “—We’ve been shying away from interacting with people whenever you suggested we go out.”
“What? I’m notpeople. We’ve been working together for how long?” His tone doesn’t carry an ounce of reproach, only regret. “Six years…” I stare at my feet, then glance at him from beneath my eyelashes. “It’s kinda rude of me. Blame it on me being French!”
This earns me a roar of laughter. “How could I have forgotten about that?” I don’t miss his teasing tone. My friend juts his chin, then waves in front of him. “Seriously, though,they’renot justpeopleeither. I’m not the type to pretend that co-workers are family members, but we’re your friends, dumbass.” A slap on the shoulder punctuates his words. “You thought we’d judge you?” And just when I believe he’s going to bring up my orientation, he surprises me yet again.
“Your man’s a rock star. I get it, but why live like recluses? It’s not like we’re going to fangirl and drool in front of him… Well, Courtney, Mel, and Avery might.” He snickers, remembering how their jaws dropped when Dante and I walked in. I had no idea that Dante’s rising fame would hit so close to home. “If you’d told me who your boyfriend was, I could have warned you… and had them sign another NDA!” he teases. “But then again, I had no idea you were in a committed relationship, and with a kid to boot.”
I shrug, embarrassed by my own reluctance to mix my family and work life. Instead of dwelling on it, I instinctively grab him by the elbow. “Come on! I finally stopped making things awkward… It’s about time we capture the memory of this kiss-ass party by snapping a shit ton of pics!”
My amazing friend pats me on the back. “Let’s do it.”
So we go on a grand tour of the party, taking silly selfies with everyone, and save the best for last. Out of breath from running through the crowd, Sully and I barge in on our families. Carelessly interrupting their conversation, we kneel between them and the lounge chairs in an awkward embrace, grasping the arms of the chairs for balance. In a swift move, Sully extends his arm and angles the phone.
“You guys are insane,” Sonia chuckles before Dante and Jeremy burst out laughing.
Blatant happiness washes over us. I mindlessly intertwine my fingers with Dante’s. We’ve always avoided PDA. When my action registers, I shoot a bewildered look his way. My boyfriend tightens his grip. Soon after, Sully shows us a selection of pics on his iPhone, full of smiling guests.
True happiness!
CHAPTER 6
SOON WE’LL BE FOUND
Dante
“Shh… Everything’s gonna be okay, I promise.” My voice is barely audible. Cradling my weeping son in one arm, I stroke his copper curls. I must have been too hyper at Sully’s party yesterday to notice how heavy Jeremy’s gotten.
Jeremy slept in the car on the way back from Zayn’s co-worker’s place while my man and I chatted. I’m glad he mentioned the party. I’m glad I suggested attending as a family. I’m glad we enjoyed the experience on so many levels. It was refreshing to almost be a regular Joe. Realizing we weren’t the sole gay couple took some of the edge off.
Even if I’m only a rising star, intrusion of privacy is a possibility. My family hasn’t been exposed so far, but Zayn’s recent guarded behavior reveals how affected he is by the photos of Brea and me. Luckily, the party eased some of the tension I sensed between us after so much time away at the studio. I good-naturedly accepted the glances of a few die-hard fans who asked me for my autograph and selfies.
Once upon a time, I considered myself straight, until my mind, body, and soul chose him. I can’t believe he would ever doubt my unwavering love for him. I belong to him, and my new mission is to step up and prove it. It’s time we stop being so self-conscious.
A loud yawn jolts me from my reverie. “Sleepy.” He rubs his eyes with the back of his small hands. “I want my bed now,” Jeremy declares in his adorable little voice. His head rests on my shoulder as he takes deep breaths to calm down.
“I wish I could protect you from nightmares.” My confused brain adds a mental note to research nightmares in four-year-olds to see if there’s anything we can do. Meanwhile, I’m no superhero, and we opt for the truth with him, so I feel compelled to reluctantly add, “Unfortunately, I don’t have that power. In the morning, I’ll askPapaif he has a magic trick to help out.”
Damn, parenting is a complicated job!
He sighs. “’K,Fafa.” My pulse races at the rarely used moniker. I kiss his temple. From the get go, Zayn’s always called me “Father” when talking about me with Jeremy. For some reason, Jeremy opted for the shorter version that sounds like Mama, which is how he rightfully refers to Elsie whenever she comes up in conversation. As for Zayn, Jeremy’s always called himPapa. The use of the French word for daddy was settled in an unspoken agreement. It’s the perfect choice; "daddy” sounded somewhat creepy to both of us. I’m not even jealous thatPapawas his first word, considering how much time they spend together. “Missed you.”
My heart tightens. “Missed you too, buddy.” I kiss his forehead. “I’m so sorry I haven’t been around much lately, but I’m here now and I’m not going anywhere for a while.”
Jeremy sighs. “Cross your heart?”
We do it together. “It feels good to be home, trust me.” I plant another kiss on his forehead and lower him into the bed; I’m soglad I heard Jeremy’s sobs before they woke Zayn. “Sleep well, and I’ll see you in the morning… but not too early, okay?” I sing his favorite lullaby until I hear his even breathing.
Quiet has returned to the household. My mouth stretches into a content smile, proud that I succeeded in lulling Jeremy back to sleep after his nightmare. I grab my phone and steal a shot of our peaceful angel. Zayn says that my voice is bewitching, and based on Jeremy’s reaction, he may be right. I stop in the kitchen for a glass of water on my way back to the living room.
