Page 46 of The Prince of Hidden Shadows
Then, as I’m ready to go back to Earth, I find Charon bent over his pole, working the rag across it with ritual patience near the edge of the Styx. The dark water laps against his boat, the sound a steady counterpoint to my churning thoughts.
He lifts his head as I approach, his stare cutting straight through me. “As far as I can remember, trouble doesn’t find you so soon after a return,” he says, voice even but laced with curiosity. “Or did you bring it with you today?”
I huff a laugh, leaning against a nearby column, the smooth, cold stone grounding me. “It’s nothing I can’t handle,” I say. My voice falters, betraying me.
Fuck!
“Nothing you can’t handle,” Charon parrots, straightening and setting the rag aside. “You’re a terrible liar, Zag.” He approaches me. “And you’re worse at pretending you’re fine.”
I sigh, running a hand through my curly brown hair. He reads me better than most. It’s a blessing and a curse. “It’s complicated,” I admit, watching the slow-moving river. “I can’t really explain it without... making it worse.”
Charon folds his arms. “Since when do you believe in jinxes?”
“I don’t,” I reply, considering what to reveal next.Why?Charon has my back. “You were right. There’s someone. Someone who matters. And he’s about to do something reckless.” The words tumble out now. “I should have stopped him, but I didn’t. I complied when he demanded I leave to concentrate on his… task, but I’m… worried for his soul.”
His brow spikes, but he doesn’t interrupt. Instead, he nods for me to continue, his silence pressing. Charon scrutinizes me, poker face on. “You care about the human.” His voice is softer than before.
“Of course, I care," I snap. My anger isn’t directed at him, but at Hades and myself. “That’s the problem. I care too much.”
Charon steps closer and rests a hand on my shoulder. It’s a rare gesture of comfort from him, and it almost undoes me. “Zagreus, you can’t control what others do, let alone humans. All you can do is be there when it matters most.”
“What if Eros is right? What if I’m meant to be with a human rather than another god? What if I help redeem his soul, but it’s still not enough to save him? What if?—"
“Stop,” Charon cuts in, his grip firm but not unkind. “You’ll drive yourself mad with ‘what ifs.’ If he means that much to you, then trust that he’ll always find his way back to you.
“Maybe…”
“He did once, didn’t he?”
“Sure, but this time around, I’m afraid he might be doomed for good. I already lost him once and—” I halt. A bitter laugh escapes my lips, and I shake my head. “I do have a plan, though.”
Charon looks out over the Styx. “Love’s a messy thing.”Love…“Even the gods can’t escape it. But if it’s real, Zagreus, then it’ll work out, even with your human. It always does."
I want to argue, to tell him that he doesn’t get it. But something in his voice stops me. Maybe he understands. Maybe he’s been there before, too. Maybe I should man up and face this head-on.
Charon’s hand lingers on my shoulder for a beat longer than expected, and there’s a flicker of something in his eyes—regret or something heavier?
Charon doesn’t meet my gaze. “At least, he has no recollection of our world since you erased his memory. You’re free to seduce him while pretending to be one of his kind.”
My chest constricts, a strange mix of discomfort and defiance curling in my stomach. Wipe his memory? Pretend to be someone I’m not? The implications don’t bode well for me because I could never do that to Théo, and Hecate, my best friend who can keep a secret, is the sole being I fully trust with mine.
I clench my fists at my sides, resisting the urge to correct Charon as I dwell on why my decision to leave Théo’s memory intact was so effortless.
The answer surfaces like a reluctant truth clawing its way from the depths of the Styx itself. Because I loved him. Not just now, not just after Eros’s meddling. I loved him then. Ages ago. When I thought I couldn’t or shouldn’t, I loved him nevertheless. Enough to risk the fallout, enough to leave the truth with him, and I’m even more in love with the new him.
Charon’s voice wrenches me from my thoughts, his expression weary but sincere. “I hope you know what you’re doing, Zagreus. Because if you don’t…” He trails off. I hear him loud and clear.
I manage a tight nod, swallowing the emotions threatening to rise. “I got this,” I confirm, but as I say it, realization burns brighter in my chest: I need to be with Théo, until death do us part, and then some.
I’m not positive he’s ready for such a commitment—will he ever be?—but I’m not going anywhere without him.
This is a goodbye to my friends here. I’ll be back… in another lifetime. Before strolling back towards his boat, Charon hugs me. He’s gone in the blink of an eye.
I’m left standing there, the weight of his words settling over me like an unwelcome cloak. The river continues to flow, steadyand relentless. I can’t help but wonder if it knows how much it carries. How many stories, how many souls.
But only one matters to me, and I whisper it to myself.
“Théo’s.”
