Page 134 of Cruel When He Smiles
His eyes search mine, and for the first time, I see him hesitate. It’s strange, seeing him without an immediate counter.
“I don’t think you’re disposable,” he says after a long pause.
I lean back, keeping my gaze fixed on him. “Then prove it. Not by telling me you need me because I made you say it downstairs. Not because you can’t stand me ignoring you. Show me you know what I’m worth when I’m not just on my knees for you.”
A different emotion flickers across his face. “You want me to grovel?”
“I want you to understand,” I reply. “And if that means you have to crawl for it, then yeah, maybe I do.”
His mouth curves into something that isn’t quite a smirk, but there’s no humor in it. He pushes off the door slowly, and for a second, I think he’s going to try and flip the dynamic back in his favor, but when he doesn’t.
He drops down to his knees instead, his eyes still locked on mine. Liam fucking Callahan, on all fours, crawling across my bedroom floor, not looking away for a single second. His hands are steady, but I see the crack in his control and what it costs him. Each inch forward is a surrender, but also a statement.
He stops in front of me, still kneeling, his breath quiet and even, but I can see the havoc inside him. “I’m sorry, Pup.”
Holy. Shit.
“You’re not a weakness in the way you think,” he says, his tone stripped of the edge it usually carries. “You’re the only thing that’s kept me from coming apart these past months. You’re the only person who makes me think twice before I tear into someone. You’re the only thing I’ve ever wanted enough to risk losing control over.”
I want to look away, because hearing him like this makes it harder to keep the wall up, but I force myself to hold his gaze.
“I don’t just want your body,” he continues. “I want every part of you—the stubbornness, the smart mouth, the way you don’t back down even when you should. The way you make me work for every inch I get. I have never been on my knees for anyone in my life, but here I am, kneeling for you.”
His words land heavy, and for a moment, I forget how to breathe. I shake my head, trying to push past the pull of his voice. “You can’t just say that when it suits you. You can’t pull me apart one week and then act like I’m the center of your universe the next.”
“I know,” he admits, and there’s no hesitation in it. “That’s why I’m here now. Because I don’t want you thinking for a second that you’re just something I use to fill time—I lied when I said that. I’ve used people before. I’ve taken what I wanted and left without a second thought. But you—” He stops, his jaw tightening before he pushes through the words. “I can’t walk away from you. And it scares the shit out of me.”
I exhale slowly, my chest tight. “You hurt me, Liam. You don’t get to be scared when you’re the one who threw the first punch.”
For a long beat, neither of us speaks. He crawls that last inch forward, rests his head against my knee, and exhales like it’s the first time he’s breathed all week. My fingers thread into his hairwithout thinking. “Tell me how to fix it,” he whispers. “Tell me how to win you back.”
I let the question hang between us for a long moment, weighing it. “You start by showing me I’m more than the moments you decide I’m worth your focus. You make me believe that I’m not just another move in your game.”
He tilts his face up, resting his chin against my leg now. “Then I’ll make you believe it. You want me to crawl?” he asks, leaning back and lifting his brows slightly. “I’ll crawl. You want me on my knees? I’ll stay here. You want me to spend every night making up for it until it stops stinging when you hear my voice? I will.”
“Liam—”
“I’ll do it,” he cuts in. “Because for the first time in my entire life, I know what I want. You’re the only thing I’ve ever touched that didn’t feel like punishment.”
The weight of that settles between us, quiet and suffocating in the best way as he watches me with those unreadable hazel eyes.
I shift forward, slowly reaching down, fingers curling under his jaw, tilting his head up. “You make it really hard to stay mad at you,” I say, but I don’t tell him that part of me wants to let him back in, if only because the way he’s looking at me right now makes the static in my head fade just a little. Instead, I keep my guard up, because he’s going to have to work for it this time.
And judging by the way he’s still on his knees, he knows it.
Liam
I’mstillonmyknees when it hits me that I’m not the one in control anymore.
Not here. Not now.
My muscles are tight, my pulse loud in my ears, and I hate that I’m the one waiting for his words. I hate that he can make me feel the absence of them like a noose tightening around my neck.
When he finally does speak again, his voice is quiet but steady, the kind of tone that makes you stop breathing because you know you’re about to hear something you’re not ready for.
He leans forward, his face close enough that I can feel his breath on my skin. “So, if you want me, Liam, then you better fucking work for me. Because I’m not going to hand myself over to someone who thinks I’m a disposable convenience.”
Every part of me wants to fight him on it. To twist it back in my favor. To grab the reins again and remind him that I don’t beg. But the truth is, I already am. My knees ache against the floor,my head’s lowered without realizing it, my body still angled toward him like I’m the one waiting for permission.
