Page 157 of Cruel When He Smiles
But I have.
And now I’m ruined for anyone else.
I force my gaze away, trying to pay attention to whatever the hell Sage is saying, but it’s useless. The second I look away, all I can think about is last night.
The way he looked at me like I was the only thing in the fucking world that could bring him back from whatever edge he’d been teetering on. Even when he was burning, even when something dark was simmering in his eyes, he never let it touch me.
He burned himself out inside me. I could feel it in every tense muscle, every ragged breath. But when it was over, he wasn’t just sated—he was soft in a way I know no one else gets to see. He admitted he’s in love with me, and I know how much admitting that must have cost him.
He thinks he owns me, and maybe he does. But I own him too, and it doesn’t have anything to do with who’s on top.
Fuck, I think I love him, too.
He must feel me staring because halfway across the quad, he looks up. Our eyes lock. That’s all it takes for my heart to stutter like it’s trying to leap out of my chest. His smirk starts slow, curling at the edges, and then he winks.
That’s it. That’s all it takes for my brain to go full static.
God, I am so fucked.
And then, like the absolute bastard he is, he just looks away and keeps walking like nothing happened. Because of course he does. He’s got places to be. And he knows exactly how strung out on him I am.
I am head over heels for a predator in designer clothes.
I don’t even realize I’ve sighed out loud until Sage groans next to me. “Oh my god, that was disgusting.”
I drag my eyes away from Liam and drop my head onto the table. “I know.”
“No, seriously, I think I just saw your soul leave your body. Your brain actually shuts off when he looks at you. It’s pathetic.”
“Yeah, I know.”
“You’re in love with a walking red flag. No, wait—you’re in love with the entire goddamn parade of red flags. Like, floats and baton twirlers and everything.”
“I’m aware, bitch,” I mutter, voice muffled against the table.
“This is so bad. I can’t even watch it happen.”
“And yet, you are,” I say, peeking up at him.
“Because it’s like watching a car crash,” he shoots back. “I can’t look away. And also because now I get to hold this over you for the rest of your life.”
I groan, leaning back and staring up at the sky. “It’s not my fault he’s so hot about it.”
Sage makes a gagging noise. “Don’t phrase it like that.”
“What, you want me to lie?”
“I want you to at least pretend to have standards,” he says.
“No, they’re gone. He took them. I am a man without standards,” I grumble, my head hitting the table again. “I hate myself.”
“Not as much as I hate you right now,” Sage mutters. “It’s bad enough I have to deal with Luca and his unhinged, possessive ass, but now you? Falling for your own red flag? This is sick. We should be studied.”
I let out a muffled groan against the cool stone. “We should start a club.”
“Yeah, the ‘We’re in Love with Psychos and Need Help’ club. You can be the President, but I’ll be the founding member, since I was in love with a walking warning label first.”
“You were not in love with Luca first,” I grumble.
