Page 37 of Kentucky Nights
“Why do I care? This doesn’t make sense! This is maddening!” I growl in frustration. “I shouldn’t care,” I say to the woman in the photo. “I don’t understand why I feel the way I do about him. A part of me hates that you got to his heart, that you got to him first, but I also know that wouldn’t be fair of me.” I set her down on the mantle again, trying to remember the exact position she was in.
My legs hit the couch when I take a step back to see how she looks above the fireplace. The living room light reflects off something small to the left of the woman in the frame.
Nosey me, I step forward to see a silver necklace. The chain is thin and light between my fingers as I hold it up in the air.
It’s a locket.
I press the small piece of metal, keeping the locket closed, then flick it open.
All the air is sucked from my lungs. More tears flow down my cheeks the longer I stare at what the locket holds inside. Kentucky is on the left, and a picture of them together is on the right.
They are so in love. She’s looking up at him with adoration, and he’s laughing. I didn’t know he could laugh. I don’t think I’ve seen him smile. The scene captured looks like a candid moment more than a planned photoshoot.
He had an entire life before I met him.
I have no answers as to why my heart is broken. Kentucky has nothing to do with me. He’s allowed to love who he wants to love. He’s allowed to have other experiences.
Then why am I so hurt?
If I don’t get answers soon as to why I feel like this, I’m going to lose any and all ability to have any rational thoughts. The longer I’m here, the more confused I become. He’s starting to infiltrate my being, the part that makes my soul free, and I don’t know how to untangle myself from him.
Sniffling, I hang the necklace on the corner of the frame, wondering how this woman loved a vampire.
Maybe it was because the vampire in question is Kentucky. Maybe that’s the difference.
Lifting my shoulders, I wipe my cheeks on the Dead Man’s Ranch shirt, getting the faintest hint of Kentucky’s scent. Another ache adds to the fractures splintering across my heart.
I become exhausted the longer I stare at her photo and being wrapped in his clothes. Needing space, I dash down the hall to get away from her, from him, from it all, and into the room I’m staying in.
I jump onto the soft bed, burying my face in the pillow.
And I sob.
I’m breaking into too many ways to be fixed.
I miss him.
But I’m not allowed to because Kentucky Jones’ heart belongs to someone else.
I can’t sleep.
I lie wide awake on this bumpy cot, staring up at the ceiling to see I need to clean the beams. With my enhanced vision, I zero in on the large spider creating an intricate web. I’m always fascinated by spider webs. They are so beautiful and strong, yet deadly to a spider’s prey.
I relate all too well. In this case, I’m the web, and Dru is the unfortunate soul who is trapped in it.
I sigh, rolling to my side to get comfortable.
Then, the other side.
Finally, I roll to my back, staring back up at the filthy beams.
“Damn it,” I say to the empty space, my restlessness getting the best of me.
Who am I kidding? I’m not going to be able to sleep another damn day until I know what will happen between Dru and me.
“Need me to sing you a lullaby?”
The irritating sound of Lorcan’s voice has me snag my hat and place it over my face, hoping the Void takes it as a hint to leave me alone.
