Page 22 of Blazing Desires
Naïve little girl.
That was six months ago, and he’s been avoiding telling me how he truly feels. He always knows exactly what to say to get me into bed without giving me the words I’m so desperate to hear. I should have known this would happen. I’m not the girl that gets the guy.
“Of course I love you.”
I say the words and swallow the bitter taste they leave in my mouth. I do love him, and I hate it. I hate that I’ve let another man do what he wants to me. His lips tip up as if he’sabout to smile but he turns his head away from me to stare at the sky.
“I know you do.” I’m glad he’s not facing me to see me wince. “I’m leaving, Davi.”
“What? When?” I sit up and turn to him as panic climbs over me like vines.
“Today.” He matches my movement and takes my hand in his. “Don’t be like that. You know I want to stay and be with you. I care about you, but I’m so fucking bored. I want to climb the ranks and see the world. I can’t do that stuck in this house.”
The silent ‘with you’ rings loud and clear in my head even though he hasn’t said the words. Tears build in my eyes. I should have seen this was coming. Everyone always leaves me.
“Hey, don’t cry. I’m the one who should be sad. I won’t get to have your sweet body underneath mine again. Promise me you’ll think of me when you touch yourself, you know how much I enjoy those little sounds you make.”
I’m numb, he’s leaving me without telling me he loves me. All he can say is that he enjoys my body.
I’m such a fucking idiot.
I drop his hand and scramble backwards until I can stand, brushing the tears from my face angrily, swallowing hard to keep the vomit down at the way he’s talking to me.
“Is that all you can say to me, Tom? Do you even have feelings for me at all? After all this time together you’re ready to walk away?”
He ignores the way my voice cracks as he stands and closes the distance, bending to get in my face without touching me. I’ve seen this expression etched so many times on my dad’s face that I know what’s coming, so I steel myself for the damage. His once-pretty face twists into a cruel expression as he rips out my heart until I no longer recognise him.
“You’re a stupid little girl. Do you seriously think I have feelings for you? I’m twenty-seven Davi, you’re sixteen!” His laugh clashes with the peaceful sounds of nature. “I never have and never fucking will. The only reason I put up with your pathetic life was to sink myself into that virgin cunt of yours. It’s the only reason anyone will ever want to be with you. You’re so fucking boring and miserable Davi, lighten up a little!”
He brushes my hair from my face which moved in the gentle breeze, tucking it behind my ear. I don’t move, I’m not entirely sure I’m still breathing. His cruel grin imprints on my brain before he closes the gap and places a harsh kiss on my lips. He moves back, standing at his full height and glowering down at me.
“One more thing before I head out. If you tell anyone about our little secret, I’ll post the pictures and videos I took of you. Oh, don’t look so shocked! I needed collateral should your dad find out about us. Anyway, got to go, my replacement is here. Bye Davi!” he grins before walking away from me.
Each retreating step of his pulls the thread to my heart as it unravels.
Iwake from the dream and slowly sit up. It’s still dark in the room, with only the dim light I had left on earlier for Blaze. I rub my eyes, careful not to knock my cheek. I used to wake from that dream crying, but that was a long time ago now. Besides, I found out he didn’t actually have anything to blackmail me with.
I sigh and throw my hair out of my face while scanning the room for Blaze. Normally they set up a cot for whoever’s turn it is to babysit me, but I don’t see one. My eyes find him in the dim light, his large frame filling the chair that he’s sat in for most of the day.
“Blaze?” I whisper, “Are you awake?”
No response. I can’t tell if he’s asleep from the way he’s positioned, and the light is not bright enough to make out his eyes. He could still be pissed off at me from earlier and just choosing not to speak to me.
I throw the covers off of myself and slide my legs over the side of the bed. As soon as he’d walked out of the door earlier I’d been anxious, his presence even while mad bringing me a strange comfort. In the silence, my mind wouldn’t shut up until tiredness won out. I’d fallen asleep on the sofa waiting for him to come back. He must have moved me to the bed, and I frown at the fact I’d not woken while he’d been carrying me.
I walk with light steps toward his solid form but stop halfway across the room when I spot the trolley loaded with food. I pad over to it and see there are sandwiches, crisps, chocolates, and cake. Cans of different sodas sit on the second shelf down next to a big dish of pasta.
My stomach rumbles and I cover it with my hand, trying to stop the sound from being so loud in the silent room. I hadn’t eaten anything this evening and Blaze hadn’t woken me to eat with him. I warm at the thought of him asking the kitchen staff to put this together, my heart fluttering that he cares enough if I eat.
He’s only doing his job.
Ignoring the food, I turn my back on it and carry on with my original task. I walk around the back of the large couch until I’m standing to his right by the armchair. He’s clearly asleep, his even breaths in a steady rhythm as his chest rises and falls. How he’s managed to fall asleep practically upright is astonishing. He’s going to have a sore neck in the morning,
I take my time to study him—or as much of him as I can see in this light now that my eyes have adjusted—without having to worry about his reaction. From the slight curl in his hair to theblack polish of his boots, he is perfection personified. If I was an artist I would spend endless hours trying to capture his essence on paper.
I gaze at his forearms resting on the arms of the chair, inspecting the tattoos inked across his skin and wishing I could study them in the light. His sleeves are rolled to his elbows, and I know I’ll be picturing his forearms the next time my hands slip between my legs, imagining them braced on either side of me, the veins popping as he holds himself over my naked body.
Nope, we’re not going there.
