Page 77 of Blazing Desires
How much did I drink?
I rub my eyes not believing what I’m seeing. I must be hallucinating, or I’m seeing a ghost.
“Hello, Blaze.”
“Mea Divina? No, I’ve gone crazy.”
I press the heels of my hands into my eyes and drag air into my lungs. I need a minute to get my mind right, and I then it will comprehend she’s not real, that this is a dream. Her hand presses into my heart. I don’t move, wanting this feeling to last so I can recall it when I’m sober. Hands move over my arms until they are on my wrists, gently tugging them away from my eyes.
“You’re not crazy, Blaze. I’m really here,” she whispers.
Impossible.
I pull away from her, the realness of her like a cruel joke.
“No, no, no, no. You died. I saw the blood. You fucking died!”
My back hits the wall, and once again I’m back on the floor with my head in my hands as the tears fall all over again. It seems like this is the only position I find myself in these days.
“Youdied!” A sob rattles through me.
“Fuck, baby no! I didn’t die, I thought you knew. Fuck!”
I feel her tugging at me, and I let her. I don’t stop her from crawling onto my lap, her hands gripping my face as she forces me to look at her.
“Look at me Blaze, please.”
My eyes find hers and I let myself drink in the dark amber in the dimly lit entryway.
“I got out, we did it. We survived.”
She tugs me to her, holding me as we cry together. Neither of us is willing to loosen our grip on the other as we soak each other in. Letting our souls tangle back together like they cannot standhow long they’ve been apart. Eventually, our tears dry, and she leans back to see me.
“I’m so sorry Blaze.”
She’s sorry, why?
“Why are you apologising to me, my love? It’s me who should be sorry, I never-,” I clear the thickness from my throat as my hands land on her waist and squeeze. “I never thought I’d see you again. Touch you again or hear your voice. It’s all my fault, everything that happened. I should have never put you in the middle, I should have come clean that day in my office, about everything. I lied to you, betrayed you.”
“Shh, Blaze. It’s okay.”
“It’s not fucking okay! I thought I’d killed you, Davina!”
I instantly regret shouting in her face, ashamed of myself for reacting this way when having her back is all I’ve wanted. But she doesn’t flinch—she just runs her fingers through my hair and places a soft kiss between my brows.
“I know that now, baby. And that’s why I’m sorry. I sent you a message, to explain everything and to ask you to give me time, so I could come back to you. I’ll always come back to you. If I’d thought you hadn’t got my message I would have come sooner. I wasn’t trying to torture you or punish you.”
Her words rattle through me before they settle and register.
“You left me a message? Where? I never saw it, and even if I had I swear on my life I would have done anything to find you. To explain and beg you to forgive me. I promise you.”
“Oh, Blaze. I know you would have found me. You’ve been dealing with this all on your own?”
Her eyes fill with tears—tears for me. I don’t deserve them.
“Don’t cry, my love. I can’t bear it, not over me.’
“I can’t stop it, Blaze. You spent a month torturing yourself and blaming yourself for my death. A death that didn’t happen. I sent a message through one of your guys, the ones you hadplanted—a fucking genius plan, by the way. I stumbled into them as I ran and I was ready to put bullets in them, but they stopped me and explained everything. I’d never interacted with them before but the info they shared made sense. It was fucking smart, Blaze. My dad never saw it coming. They helped me get away and they promised they’d leave you a message relaying what I told them.”
