Page 27 of The Sins That Bleed
“Here’s the thing, man, you’re in a shit-ton of trouble with the law right now. This is a good deal. Just give us the names and addresses of your superiors, and we’ll be out of your hair. You’ll be back home lounging by the pool and sipping a piña colada before you know it.”
His cheery voice does nothing to stir the guy before us as he pleads the fifth again. This is going nowhere. Usually, Nico’sfriendly approach would either make them comfortable enough to open up or irritate them enough that they give him what he wants to shut him up. No such luck this time.
I let Nico wrap it up and close the interview out—we’ve been at this for a few hours now and if we can’t break him then will have to do this the long, hard way. Even with Valeska’s offer dangling before us, I want to explore other options first. I don’t want to feel tied or indebted to her in any way.
My mind drifts to the sinful photo she sent me the other night. I’ve still not responded to her, but I’d be a liar if I said I don’t look at it whenever I’m at home. It’s saved in my phone and has been the only thing to satiate my desire without having to see her again.
Her being is burned into my mind, every angle and curve of her looks as though she was sculpted by an artist’s hand, perfection personified. I can’t help but wonder what she did after she sent me that photo. My mind drifts as I imagine her alone in her room, but it’s immediately cut off when Nico slaps me on the shoulder and stands.
“See you in court.” These are the only words I hear from Nico as we leave.
I don’t know what is happening to me. She’s in my head, calling me to her until all I see, all I think about, is her. I’m enraptured by her existence and who she really is. I’m compelled to figure out the game she is playing and how she turned out to be the biggest business mogul in the state.
Once we’re back in Nico’s car, he turns to me. “Where the fuck did you go, princess? Do I need to call a doctor? Therapist? Hell, an exorcist?”
Now he has my full attention, but no laugh escapes me. “Huh, no. What are you on about Nico? I’m fine.”
“Oh yeah? Is that why you disassociated back there in the interview, rubbing your thighs back and forth? I half expectedyou to start rocking and speaking in tongues. Seriously, are you okay? If you want to talk about anything, you know I’m here for you.”
I blow out a long sigh. I want to make excuses and say it was from the cold of the chair and the pressure of the case, but he’s so worried that I can’t bring myself to do it. I turn to look at him and see the worry etched into the lines between his brows.
So I go with being honest.
“No, I’m not. I?—”
Nico waits patiently for me to collect my thoughts. I was planning to keep everything to myself because I don’t want to burden him with the weight of my problems, but it’s all too much. Letting it impact me whilst I’m working, and on something so close to home for me, is unacceptable.
“I’m struggling.” I swallow roughly, trying to keep my emotions in check. “This case is so important to me but it’s too much sometimes. It brings back all the memories of what me and my family went through all those years ago when my sister was stolen from us. Not knowing where she is, if she’s even still alive, I?—”
I lose the battle and the tears spill over. I close my eyes and tip my head back, letting the hot trails wet my cheeks. I feel Nico’s hand grip mine, squeezing gently, encouraging me to let it all out. I take a deep breath, trying to stop my voice from cracking.
“It’s killing me, Nico, I just want her back and I miss her so fucking much. I was supposed to protect her. She needed her big brother to be there for her and I wasn’t. And now, we’re so close to getting some answers on this case, bringing people in who might know where she is, but they aren’t talking and it’s making me want tokillsomeone. Fuck! Relying on Valeska is not an option. I don’t trust her and I hate everything she stands for. People with her kind of money and power are alwayslooking to corrupt and exploit those around them. I refuse to be a puppet on her string in hopes we will get closer to shutting this trafficking ring down. I blame her for throwing me off my game. She’s gotten under my skin, and I hate myself for it.”
I choke on a sob at my confession. I can feel myself breaking apart under the weight of it all, with how much I hate myself and blame myself. My sister is missing because of me. I wasn’t there for her when she needed me the most and now I must pay for it, repent for my sin and beg for forgiveness.
I’m tugged into Nico’s large frame as he envelops me in a crushing hug and I truly let go, sobbing so hard that my breathing turns ragged as I cry into him. He holds me tight and doesn’t let go until my breathing calms and the sobs wracking my body abate.
He leans back a little, holding me by the arms to look into my eyes. I’m about to apologise and he must sense it because he cuts me off before I can get the words out.
“Don’t you dare apologise to me, Rai. I need you to listen to me and trust me when I say that what happened to your sister isn’t your fault. You were seventeen years old. The fact that you’re even able to do this job and excel at it is a fucking miracle and I’m in awe of you; confronting your trauma head-on and never giving up hope is your superpower. I know we’ve hit a bit of a wall in this case, but we will move past it, and so what if we need Lady V’s help? I’d doanythingto take all these fuckers out if it meant finding your sister. Why not have fun with her in the process? You’ve got nothing to lose, and I will be here every step of the way. You’re my partner but also my brother, if we go down, we go down together. Deal?”
His hazel eyes bore into my blue ones and don’t move away until I say, “Deal.”
He cups my neck and pulls my head to his, dropping a kiss on my forehead. “Good. If this shit starts to feel like it’s getting to betoo much, just say the word. I’ll carry this one for you, you’re not alone in this.”
I nod, not trusting my voice and he lets me go, starting the car to drive us home. He starts chatting away about plans and getting the next drop of information from Valeska and Sunny. I’m half listening as I watch him chat away. The other half of me is thinking about what he said and how much of an incredible friend, partner, and brother he is to me.
He doesn’t have any family left but he treats me like blood all the same. I’m overcome with gratitude that he walked into my life all those years ago at the police academy, that whilst we both have people missing from our family, we created our own.
“What’s that look for, princess?” He grins at me, and I realise I wear a smile of my own.
“You’re so good to me, Nico. You’re my brother, my family. I love you.”
He puts his gaze firmly on the road to hide the tears gathering in his eyes at my words. We’ve never been this open before about how we feel about each other.
“I love you too, princess.”
After havinga few beers and a pizza at Nico’s apartment above mine, I’m finally back in my own.
