Page 18 of Chaos Theory
She points towards Kobi with both hands. ‘That’s what I said!’
‘He wants me to enrol in an online course. Something at MIT.’
‘Robot Relationship Management?’ Her eyes widen. ‘Mate, that’s a great course. I’ve been looking into it myself. It has a module by Professor Mimi Lee.’
‘Who?’
‘Hang on.’ She swivels her chair so she can scan the bookshelf behind her desk. ‘Here it is!’ She tosses a heavy book to me.
I catch it, read the cover aloud. ‘Coding Behaviour: The Brave New World of Ethical Programming. What’s this all about?’
‘Borrow it, mate. In a nutshell, she says that the new generation of workplace robots are heavily influenced by the people around them. They basically copy the behaviour of their work colleagues. So the people making industrial robots need to be “ethical programmers”. They need to programme good behaviour into the robots from the outset, like a parent raising a child to have a moral code – pun intended. The implications are really interesting.’
‘They are?’
‘Think about it. Take Kobi here. He’s kind of a blank slate, right? Every interaction shapes him in some way. Which means, Maeve, you have a chance to turn Kobi here into whatever you want him to be.’ She looks at her computer screen, sighs, puts down the can. ‘Well, whatever JP wants him to be, I suppose.’
TWELVE
3pm
As we’re making our way to the HR department, I’m trying to get my head in the game. I’ve already postponed Kobi’s HR induction meeting twice and I can’t put it off any longer. Sandra Smith’s office is on the fifth floor, at the top of the building, at the end of the corridor. It’s almost as if they don’t want to encourage visitors up here. But at least the elevator has been restored to action.
I like Sandra, but at the end of the day, she’s Team JP. If JP is the Supreme Being around here, Sandra is his earthly representative. John the Baptist to his Jesus. Johnnie Cochran to his OJ Simpson. Perhaps that’s a little harsh. Smithers to his Mr Burns, then.
I’m mulling over everything I’ve learned in the past few days. After I spoke to Jen, I left Kobi in the gift shop with Shane and took some time back at my desk to register for the MIT course.Robots are joining the workforce. Are you ready?the intro blurb asked. ‘God no,’I answered out loud, attracting a brief glare from the desk of Duncan Canning.
Now, I tell Kobi that this meeting is very important.
‘I promise to do my best,’ he reassures me in the elevator. ‘I am thinking of ice-breaker conversation pieces to ensure the meetingstarts well. I have been studying this area of emotional intelligence. It is fascinating that humans cannot start meaningful conversations until their brains have sufficiently warmed up. Then again, when I awake from sleep mode, I spend some minutes collecting data and adjusting to my environment. So perhaps it is a similar feeling.’
I silently pray that Kobi will never find out there’s such a job as stand-up comedian. I bet he’d love to share his wry observations about humans with an audience.
When we exit the elevator, I stop and point at a sign on the wall that saysHuman Resources.
I swear Kobi’s voice gets louder. ‘But where is the office ofRobot Resources? Because, according to this sign, whoever works here does not have authority over me.’
‘Hush,’ I say. ‘It’s not a good idea to open with a joke when you meet someone for the first time.’
‘This was not from my joke category files,’ he says. ‘This was stored under “banter” in my ice-breaker files. Shane and I discussed the concept of banter for thirty-six minutes this morning. He presented me with many examples of such talk. Enough for me to learn how to start creating my own.’
Oh lord.‘Well, I think Shane and I might need to have a meeting of our own after this one. For now, please refrain from banter. I’ll explain to you later when you can use it. But, in short, for now – rarely.’
We arrive at Sandra’s office. Through the glass panel in the door, I can see her pretty blonde head turned to focus on one of her three giant screens, immaculate shellac nails caressing the keyboard. I knock. She responds with a nod and her million-dollar smile.
‘Sandra, this is the new collaborative robot, Kobi. He’s been looking forward to meeting you, isn’t that right, Kobi?’
‘Yes. Nice to meet you, Ms Smith.’Phew. He bends his upper body forward ever so slightly. ‘I am most honoured to be here. I hope I may serve you well.’Laying it on a bit thick though.
‘Ooh, he has lovely manners, Maeve. Don’t you have lovely manners, eh?’
‘Thank you,’ says Kobi. ‘My greeting is an excerpt fromThe Servile Robot Lexicon. This antiquated textbook from 1986 aimed to teach robots how to reassure humans they would not be destroyed in an impending robot uprising.’
I hear myself laugh loudly. ‘He has a great sense of humour, Sandra. Just terrific. Very advanced. You wouldn’t believe it.’
Sandra laughs along, stands up and walks around the table to us. ‘You are funny, Kobi! Maeve, he seems like a right cheeky one. You must have your hands full.’
‘He still has a lot to learn about human relationships,’ I offer.
