Page 22 of Chaos Theory
‘What’s he doing today?’ he asks.
‘Still in the shop.’
‘You mean Tumbleweed City?’
I laugh. ‘Yes.’
‘Well, where I’d like to see Kobi improve is in his communication skills. He needs interaction. He needs to be around people. Listen, you’re smart. You’ll think of something. I trust you.’
FOURTEEN
KOBI
Thursday, 1800
I am in alien terrain. By 1800 I am usually in rest mode, processing the day’s new input data. Today is different.
At 1700, Maeve and Shane presented me with the opportunity for this ‘field trip’, as they styled it. ‘Didn’t Josh say he wants you to fit in here?’ Maeve said. Shane said, ‘What better way to get to know your colleagues than over a few relaxing drinks in the pub? That’s where real relationships are made.’
With some reservations, I accessed my residual power bank and turned off all ancillary systems, in order to give me sufficient battery to last until 2100. I explained all this in great detail to Maeve and Shane.
‘Don’t worry. We’ll get you back here before you turn into a pumpkin,’ Shane said. Although I did not recognise this exact vegetable reference, I did not need to in order to understand the general meaning of the sentence. Josh says I will never understand every expression in human language, as it is evolving too rapidly. It is more important to try to ‘see the whole picture, all at once’. That is the true mark of intelligence, he says.
But now that I am here in Phelan’s Bar and Grill, seeing thewhole picture is impossible. I am in sensory overload; my input processor can barely keep pace with all the new data streaming my way.
I sense multiple potential hazards. For a start, navigating around the room is a challenge, as people-shaped and chair-shaped objects of varying sizes stand around in haphazard formations.
Dim light does not aid my navigation. Josh recently fitted me with a low-tech night-mode vision – two small torch implants on either side of my head. I switch these to full beam as I carefully begin to cross the floor but Shane immediately raises his voice and strikes my back. ‘Hey, knock those off, will ye? You’re ruining the atmosphere.’
I comply, not wishing to destroy the delicate balance of oxygen, nitrogen and other gases required by human bodies for their continued well-being.
The most alarming danger of all, however, is the prevalence of liquid throughout the environment. Liquids are no friend to robotkind. Every human is holding a small but potentially lethal dose; and each person holds it in a marginally different way, making its precise movement and location difficult to anticipate.
‘Maeve,’ I say. ‘I do not wish to cause unnecessary alarm. However, are you aware that my systems have not been designed for liquid-based environments? In fact, I am used to operating in clean rooms. If I were to get wet?—’
‘Relax,’ Shane says. ‘’Tis grand, sure. You’re not going to get wet. I know it probably looks fairly random to you right now, but actually the evening has an ebb and flow about it that’s entirely predictable. You could say I’ve done my own data gathering and analysis over the years. Trust me, no one’s going to spill a drink before 9, earliest.’ Then he laughs as he says: ‘I mean if you think this is chaotic, you should see the place at midnight.’
Although Shane’s human data-gathering methods are bound to be deficient, I decide to relax as much as is robotically possible and to make the most of my time here. After all, it is an exciting opportunity to gain experience and to interact with my colleagues in anatypical setting. Maeve and Josh must be confident that I am ready for this challenge. If I can make progress here, they will be pleased.
A group of people from the office are standing in a formation that approximates a circle. They acknowledge my presence as we approach.
‘Ah, here, why’d you bring yer man?’ David says.
‘Dave, don’t be rude,’ Julia says. ‘Hey, guys.’
‘I suppose he doesn’t drink anything.’ David inclines his head toward me.
‘You can speak to him directly, y’know, Dave,’ Maeve says. ‘He can understand everything you say.’
‘That’d make a nice change for you, Dave, wouldn’t it?’ Julia says.
Several people laugh, but I do not. I know what it is like to be poorly understood.
‘Although, Dave does have a point,’ Julia says, and I wonder if I have missed part of the conversation. ‘Kobi is not exactly our new favourite colleague. We’ve had a really stressful week, thanks to his website antics.’
Josh has fitted me with a rudimentary Emotion Detector. While it is helpful in providing nonverbal information during human interactions, the downside is that I can now name these sensations when they occur within my own systems. This one is called ‘disappointment’.
‘Well, he’s new,’ Maeve says. ‘You have to give him a chance. He just hasn’t found his groove yet.’
