Page 60 of Chaos Theory
‘She told me her flatmate worked in a hair salon nearby, so I ran off to get her house keys,’ says Matthew. ‘I let myself into the house, but the bathroom door was jammed shut.’
‘It was an old house,’ says Claire. ‘The lock was always getting stuck, but usually we’d be able to jimmy it open. This day it was like the door was cemented shut.’
‘What happened?’ I ask.
‘I was talking to her through the door,’ says Matthew. ‘And as we were talking, I suddenly realised two things – one, that she was my best friend, and two, that I really, really needed to see her.’
He exchanges a look with his wife. I can tell they’ve told this story many times but are enjoying the retelling of it, like playing a favourite song.
Claire speaks quietly. ‘It was very dramatic. He kicked the door down.’
‘I had to!’ says Matthew. ‘I’d tried everything else.’
‘I’m not so sure about that,’ says Claire, grinning. ‘Anyway, that changed things between us. I saw him differently after that. It wasn’t just the “hero” thing, being rescued and all that. I would have gotten out of there myself eventually, somehow. But he was the only one who came looking for me. His panic and concern were kind of adorable.’
‘Can we go back to the hero bit?’ says Matthew, smiling at his wife.
‘And that’s our story. We’ve been together ever since,’ says Claire. She nods towards Lizzie, who’s still conducting a whole separate conversation with Kobi. ‘And now we’ve made a person.’
At this, Kobi slowly turns his head towards us. It occurs to me that Kobi might actually have been listening to both conversations all along. ‘Could you repeat that, please?’ he requests.
‘She doesn’t mean literally,’ I say quickly. I think Kobi is a little bit obsessed with the idea of creation. ‘Sorry, she does mean literally. But she doesn’t mean whatever you’re thinking. She just means they had a baby.’
I look at Shane for help to shut down the conversation, but he just smiles back at me and drinks his water very slowly. Revenge for me leaving him high and dry earlier, probably.Well played.
‘Of course,’ says Kobi. ‘Maeve, you must know that I am somewhat familiar with human biology. Lizzie is the product of sexual intercourse between her parents, and the successful insemination of a fertile egg.’
Shane does a spit-take.
‘Go on, ye boy ah!’ Matthew sings, slapping the table.
Claire bursts out laughing.
‘Mammy, mammy, what’s funny?’ says Lizzie. ‘Can I have a egg?’
The others are collapsing with laughter, but I try to hold it together. I’m torn between reprimanding Kobi, apologising to ourhosts and distracting their little girl. I shake my head, cover my face, close my eyes. I can feel the giggle waves rising. The more I try to push them down, the worse it gets. My rib cage starts shaking. I can hear Matthew slapping the table and whooping. I feel Shane’s hand gripping my shoulder. I put my hand on his hand like it’s a life buoy. But it’s no good and soon I’m drowning in laughter like the rest of them.
THIRTY-FOUR
KOBI
Thursday, 1405
We are on a guided tour of the farm. It is simultaneously the most exciting and the most frightening place I have ever been. Machines I am comfortable with, humans I am learning to get along with, but animals?
To date, 95 per cent of my knowledge of these creatures is based on image and video files; 5 per cent has been gleaned from my observations of dogs urinating in the street. On paper (as humans express it), animals are predictable. Much is known of their life cycles, diets and habits. But none of this is helpful when you come face to beak with an ostrich.
As we walk past livestock enclosures, Matthew explains the history of the farm and how he came to be its manager.
I must say, the cohabitation of humans and animals gives me great hope for harmonious relations between humans and robots in the future. And robots can communicate far better than animals can. Even the dog, perhaps the most advanced in the animal kingdom at human relations, can express a mere 6 or 7 sentiments, and most of those involve food or squirrels.
What is it about the canine creature that makes it belovedamong humans? I think the answer is twofold. First, unquestioning loyalty. Second, unconditional love. The 2 concepts are perhaps interrelated from the canine point of view. For robots, however, the second is not required for the first, thus illustrating the superiority of robotkind.
Matthew describes daily life on the farm as he shows us animal after animal, members of the same species grouped together in enclosures: horses, cows, sheep, pigs. The farm is called an ‘open farm’ because it welcomes external visitors, and one of the main attractions for the paying tourists is the ability to feed the animals, by hand.
‘May I ask a question?’ I say.
Matthew nods. ‘Fire away.’
