Page 81 of Chaos Theory
The door opens again. Dave and Julia come in together. Very together. They’re holding hands. ‘I told you we’d be early,’ Julia says to him.
‘Hey, Kobi, good luck today,’ she calls. ‘We got you a card. Oh – I left it in my coat. Be right back.’ She disappears out the door.
Shane nods after her. ‘When didthishappen?’ he asks Dave, who hasn’t stopped smiling since he entered the room.
‘At the party,’ says Dave.
‘Really?’ I ask. ‘You know, I thought maybe you guys were already together.’
Dave laughs. ‘I know. I think everybody did. We weren’t. But we are now.’
‘Good stuff,’ says Shane. ‘You both finally came to your senses.’
‘Yes.’ Dave smiles. ‘It was a strange night. You know, weirdly, seeing JP in that costume – and what DC said about it – it kind of got me thinking about things. How actions speak louder than words, and all those clichés.’
‘Congratulations,’ says Kobi. ‘I wish you well for the future.’
To my surprise, Dave briefly hugs Kobi. Then he turns away and takes a seat at the back of the room.
Dave is right. Actions do speak louder than words. Josh had all the words, but it was just empty promises – dangling a bright new future in front of me. I can’t help compare him to Shane. Even though Shane has done some immature things, he’s never deliberately tried to deceive me. He’s always tried to fix things, tried to help me out. The door opens again but it’s not Julia, it’s Imelda.
‘Ah, Maeve. I wanted to talk to you for a moment.’ Her cheeks are flushed. ‘In private. And, ah, you too, Kobi.’
I beckon her over and the three of us move into a corner.
‘I am afraid that I owe you an apology,’ she says. ‘I perhaps should have told you this before, but, well, I did not want to. I have no excuse really. So, the night that you came to Phelan’s, when Kobi had his malfunction…I am afraid that was my fault.’
‘It was?’ I think back to that night. At the end of the bar, Kobi, Imelda, Dave and Julia were gathered round but they all seemed to be getting on well.
‘Yes. Kobi spoke of new accounting software that could do my job in half the time. Maeve, I amsoclose to retirement. It is too late for me to retrain, to find another job. I suppose that I just panicked. I had a tequila in my hand and, well…’
She mimes throwing a drink in Kobi’s face. In fairness to Kobi, he doesn’t react.
‘I just wanted to say that I am sorry.’
I should be upset, but so much has happened since that night, it doesn’t seem so important now. Besides, I can see it from Imelda’s point of view. It’s a lot harder to accept new technology if your pay cheque is on the line.
The rest of the staff arrive and JP calls the meeting to order. He announces Kobi’s imminent departure. I now truly learn the meaning of the term ‘the official version of events’, as JP portrays Kobi’s short time here as a series of triumphs, with a seamless conclusion. He instigates a round of applause for me and then, as is the tradition at Go Ireland, invites the departing employee to ‘say a few words in honour of the occasion’.
Kobi makes his way to the top of the room. ‘I cannot promise only a few words,’ he says, to gentle laughter from his colleagues. ‘I would like to thank all my co-workers, especially Maeve and Shane. I shall miss all of you.’
A nice little round of applause ripples across the room.
‘However,’ he continues, ‘perhaps what follows will be unexpected, but unfortunately I have not been provided with an adequate opportunity to complete my duties as an employee.’
Oh no. What now?
‘I shall now announce the results of the HR compliance report commissioned by Sandra Smith on 18 September.’
I jump up from my seat. ‘Kobi!’
I hear gasps from around the room. It sounds like half a dozen cans of soda being opened at once.
‘Do not be alarmed,’ says Kobi. ‘I shall only read the executive summary. And the results section.’
Sandra Smith stands up too. ‘Eh, I’d completely forgotten about that!’
JP raises his hands to calm the troubled waters. ‘Quiet down, everyone. I’m sure it’s all fine. We might as well hear it though. No harm for me to get a sense of where we’re at with this stuff. Kobi – proceed. But keep it brief.’
