Page 8 of Chaos Theory
‘What does he eat?’ asks Dave. ‘Megabytes?’ This gets a big laugh from Julia but no one else.
‘And he’snotgoing to be reporting on us?’ asks Julia.
‘Kobi reports to me,’ I say, frustrated. I look at JP in case I’m overstepping but he’s staring into the middle distance, probably noteven listening. ‘Kobi, you’re not going to be writing any reports about staff, are you?’
‘No,’ says Kobi. ‘Although I could run a productivity report, if that would be helpful.’
An audible gasp goes around the room, followed by extensive murmuring.
I lower my voice. ‘Kobi, I don’t think that’s a good idea.’
JP returns to the present. He stands up. ‘Well, I think a productivity report sounds just grand. Sure HR does one every couple of years anyway. There’s nothing to be afraid of. Isn’t that right, Sandra?’ JP looks around for reassurance from the HR rep but fails to locate her.
‘She’s not here,’ says Dave. ‘Kobi, make a note that Sandra missed the compulsory staff meeting.’
‘Noted, thank you,’ says Kobi.
‘This is all happening very fast,’ I say, trying to regain control. ‘As JP says, it’s just a report – people write reports all the time. And as you know, most reports never actually get read. It’s not a big deal. I think we’re losing sight of the big picture here.’
I scan the room and meet Shane’s eye. He looks relaxed. I take a breath and speak more slowly. ‘Kobi could actually help us to do our work better. In fact’ – I’m getting an idea and decide to roll with it – ‘by the end of this week, I promise you Kobi will have made work easier for at least two people at Go Ireland.’
‘Is it you and JP?’ asks Dave. ‘Or Sandra and JP?’
‘Two people who are not me, JP or Sandra,’ I say.
JP claps his hands together. ‘Well, there you go! I, for one, am fully in support of this development. Now, I think that’s all the time we have for our meeting today. Let’s get to work.’
I exhale and gather my things as people begin leaving the room in small groups. They seem to have a lot to say to each other.
Shane approaches me with a big grin on his face.Why is he always in a good mood, even on a Monday morning?‘Are you okay? You were getting some seriously negative vibes there. I felt bad for you.’
I try to smile, but it feels forced. ‘Thanks.’
‘If there’s any way I can help, you know where I am.’
At least he’s on my side, I suppose. ‘We’ll see how it goes. Kobi, come on – let’s find you some work to do.’
Shane reverses himself towards the door, apparently so he can keep smiling at me as he leaves. ‘I better get back to my desk too. Gotta get my productivity levels up.’
SIX
10am
After a bumpy start at the team meeting, I decide to take refuge in a safe place. The IT department seems like the natural home for a robot, and besides, I want to see what Jen thinks of Kobi.
She wasn’t at the staff meeting because she’s on a deadline to revamp the entire Go Ireland website. She says she’s taking it from the nineteenth century into the twentieth century. Every time I meet Jen she finds a new, innovative way to describe how under-resourced she is:
‘I’m ten pensioners short of a conga line.’
‘I’m like a kangaroo trying to strangle itself.’
‘I’ve about as much budget as a gambling addict in a casino who’s just put everything on red.’
She claims these expressions are common Australian parlance, but I strongly suspect that she’s just enjoying herself at our expense.
We begin making our way to the third floor. I need to slow my pace to keep step with Kobi, who’s really not quite the nimble athlete Josh has built him up to be. Maybe he’s stiff? Could I put some oil on those joints? I open my phone, make a note toask Josh about this.Josh – lubrication?I add a cheeky winky face, for the craic.
‘Maeve, may I ask what my duties will be here at Go Ireland?’ Kobi asks me.
