Page 81 of Cruel Russian Monster
I hated the sadness in Katya's voice. I squeezed her hand. But she was right. Vera would never do that, but if she didn't, then who?
Before my thoughts could spiral again, Katya's voice tugged me back to the present.
“Have you called Yegor or Zahkar?”
“Not yet. I'd prefer to wait until I hear back from Lev and the others before calling them, just in case the tracker is faulty or her phone died. I wouldn't want to worry them unnecessarily.”
“But I've already called Kira. I'm sure she'll let them know,” Katya stated.
“If they call, I'll take it from there, but until then I'll wait on word from the others.”
Alex stretched his hands for Katya, and she smiled as I handed him over. Once he was settled in her arms, she looked at me strangely.
“Jaroslav, can I ask you something? It's personal.”
“About Vera?”
She nodded.
“You can ask, but I'll answer depending on the question.”
She nodded with understanding. “Fair enough.” Then she looked me square in the eyes. “Do you love Vera?”
“Yes.”
I was stunned by how quickly I said it, but I didn't lie. I had never admitted it out loud, though. I had never stopped loving her. I had buried that love under the hurt and betrayal I had carried over the years, but reconnecting with Vera made it rise to the surface, and hearing why she did what she did washed the final layer away.
“Have you told her?” Katya asked, lifting a brow.
“Not yet,” I muttered.
“And why the hell not?” She said it so loudly that Alexi, who had fallen asleep in her arms, jumped and whimpered.
“I'm sorry,” she cooed.
Once he was sleeping soundly in her arms again, she looked at me.
“Why haven't you told her?” she asked quietly.
I dragged my hand down my face. “It's complicated.”
“Well, uncomplicate it.”
“It's not that easy.”
“Men,” Katya huffed out and shook her head. “If you married her to stop the war between the factions, how is she going to know that your feelings towards her have changed since then?”
“By my actions.”
Katya rolled her eyes. “Have you thought for one moment that you're confusing her? That she has no idea how you really feel about her?”
I narrowed my eyes. Katya didn't just bring this up out of the blue. She'd been talking to Vera.
“Vera told you that she's confused by my actions?”
“I'm neither denying nor confirming that. What I will say is, talk to your wife. If the two of you really want this marriage to work, you have to be on the same page. I know what it feels like to be confused when you love a man and he's hot one moment and cold the other. A woman needs to hear those three words, or she’ll never believe it.”
Katya was right. I needed to talk to Vera. I had decided that I wasn't going to let her go, but what if she thought that us being casual might mean that I'd get tired of her and go outside for my pleasure? Many Bratva husbands didn't hide their mistresses, but that wasn't the type of man I was. I wanted Vera and only her.
