Page 18 of Jagger
But the farther I drove, the more I knew it was a line, a ruse to get into my pants. And I’d let his charm and swagger win me over. I wouldn’t be stupid again.
I’d live my life up on the reservation, and if my ancestors or the universe found it in their benevolence to bring someone to me who would love me for who I was and not what I could give them, maybe I would reconsider.
But for the foreseeable future, I planned to be alone. That way, my heart would be safe and maybe I’d stop feeling like it was being ripped out of my chest.
Chapter 10
Jagger
The farther I drove away from Roughstock’s ranch, the more I knew I’d fucked everything up with Jackie. When I saw the messages about Nana, I was impulsive and angry. Not at Jackie, but at myself, though I focused my rage on her. She didn’t deserve my hurtful words or my suggesting last night was a mistake.
“Damn it,” I yelled into the cab of my truck as I slammed my fist against the steering wheel.
The painful look in her eyes when I drove away would stay with me forever. I should have let her come with me, but I was too busy blaming myself—or more accurately, blaming her—for Nana’s injury. But with the temper I’d known Jackie to have from past experiences, she wouldn’t forgive my outburst anytime soon, no matter the reason.
When I got closer to town, I called Nana’s neighbor, needing to see how she was doing. Lifting the phone up so I could put it on speaker while I drove, I dialed Ms. Johnson’s phone number and listened to it ring.
“Lincoln?” Nana asked, and my heart seemed to relax some.
“Nana? Where are you? What happened?” I asked with a tremor in my voice.
“I’m back home, Lincoln,” she remarked, and I switched lanes and turned the truck in the direction of her house. “And I’m fine. Ms. Johnson called you for no reason, and I’m sorry for making you worry.”
“Your ankle is broken, Nana. That’s reason enough to worry.”
“My ankle isn’t broken. She panicked for nothing when she called you and the ambulance, and she should’ve called you back and told you I was fine.” I could hear her speaking to someone else in the room. “Why didn’t you call Lincoln back, Hattie? He’s all worried for nothing.” They said something I couldn’t hear, then Nana added, “She said she’s sorry for making you worry.”
I wanted to yell but needed to see her with my own two eyes. “I’ll be there in ten minutes, and you can explain everything.”
“You don’t have to make a fuss. I’m fine.”
“I’ll be there in nine,” I returned and hung up the phone.
Now, I wanted to kick my own ass for panicking and not making a phone call to Ms. Johnson before I tore out of Roughstock’s. And before I made that cruel and hurtful statement to Jackie. I needed to call her and apologize, so when I got to a stop light, I quickly dialed her number. It rang twice before going to voicemail, and when I was listening to her beautiful greeting, I tried to find the right level of apology, remorse, and begging as I left my message.
“I fucked up, and I can’t say I’m sorry enough. Nana’s fine. I . . . I shouldn’t have said what I did, and I know there’s no way to make this go away, but I hope you can give me a chance to make it up to you. Please, my beautiful warrior. Call me.”
Hanging up, I waited for a few minutes and called the number back, hearing her voicemail pick up immediately.
“Shit,” I yelled as I turned onto Nana’s long street.
Quickly, I dialed Roughstock’s number. He answered on the first ring. “Jagger. Cheyenne and I were just about to head back to the house, and I was gonna call to tell you to cover your ass.”
He chuckled, and I felt a lump in my throat before I cleared it. “I’m not at the house, and I fucked things up with Jackie already.”
“What the hell man? What happened?”
I shook my head and tried to explain as I pulled into Nana’s driveway. “My phone died last night, and when I got it charging this morning, I received a bunch of messages from Nana’s neighbor that she was hurt and on the way to the hospital.”
“Fuck, man. Is she okay? What can we do?” he asked.
“She’s okay. Her neighbor freaked out and panic messaged me last night. But that’s not it.” I sighed as I put the truck in park and turned it off. “She offered to come with me, and I basically said it was her fault that Nana was left alone to get hurt. I . . . I told her I was sorry about last night.” He whistled but didn’t say anything, so I asked, “How badly did I fuck this up?”
It was the other voice that came through the phone that let me know how much I’d messed up. “You basically implied that spending the night with her, being . . . with her for the first time, was a mistake?”
Cheyenne didn’t seem pissed, but I knew better. Responding to her question, I said, “Yeah, that about sums it up.”
Roughstock spoke next. “I don’t think this’ll be fixable anytime soon. Jackie . . .”
