Page 88 of Immortal Origins
“What’s in your nightmares?” she asked, hoping to distract herself from her own.
Akadian reached his hand out for her other wrist which she handed to him and turned her body. He began to wash that too, making sure to get all the caked gore from under her fingernails.
“They’re different every night…” He twirled his finger, motioning for her to turn her back to him, which she obliged. “Sometimes, I’m being summoned by one of the gods. Usually to destroy a town I didn’t even know existed. I hear the screams of the citizens as they burn, though, I never see any of their faces.” He ran the soap over in his hands and massaged it into her scalp. “Sometimes, it’s the gods coming to punish me for refusing one of the requests.” He poured hot water over her head and the soap ran down her back. She drank in how nice it was to have someone care for her in such a vulnerable way. There was a time she would have thought herself a fool to let herself be so exposed to the prince, but she hadn’t ever felt so safe.
“What was it this time?”
“What makes you think I had a nightmare?” he smirked, but his heart clearly wasn’t in it.
“What was it this time?”
He poured more water over her head and she closed her eyes and enjoyed how it ran over her hair and down her back. The warmth of it a small comfort as she squeezed her eyelids.
“This time…” he choked slightly and it took him a while to answer. “I watched you die. I was too late to save your from the metal mage’s attack and there was nothing I could do. I watched you bleed out.”
Ambrose couldn’t see his expression but from the sound of his voice, it must have been twisted in pain.
He rested one hand on her shoulder as he worked the soap into her back and she laced his fingers with her own.
“But youdidmake it in time. You saved my life,” she assured him. Though, she knew her words would do little to take his nightmares away. Not when she knew her own so well. No one could save them from their own minds.
“I almost didn’t,” his voice cracked.
She turned to face him, water lapping off the sides of the polished tub. “But you did.”
“I just keep thinking about what would’ve happened if the healing mage hadn’t been there.” He swallowed. Hard. “You would’ve died.”
She squeezed his hand and held his gaze. “But I didn’t.”
She was too tired to wonder why the prince cared so much. Why her death would haunt him in his dreams. Maybe he was so much better than she ever gave him credit for. Maybe, every death he’d ever been forced to cause or witness haunted him night after night. But there was one death he’d prevented.Hers.
“Thank the gods I made it in time.”
Against her better judgment, Ambrose lifted her hand and placed it on his cheek. “Thankyou.”
“What was your nightmare?” Akadian asked, the look in his eyes matching the one she knew was mirrored in hers.
She couldn’t bring herself to say it out loud. The nightmare may not have been a real memory, but the ones from the night before were. She didn’t know how to escape the sinking feeling so deep inside her heart, dragging her down to the depths of despair. There was no hole in the wall to escape through. No magickal answer that could come save her.
She failed.
Tears welled in her eyes and her breath hitched in her chest. The only thing she could manage to get out before the sobs racked against her body was—“Antony…”
Akadian swept her into his arms, soaking the leathers he was still wearing as he cradled her close to his chest. He scooped one arm under her legs, softly pulling her from the tub as his other hand simultaneously wrapped her in a fluffy towel.
He held her close as she laid her head in the nape of his neck and didn’t stop her tears from coming. Couldn’t stop the pain and grief that flooded out of her, shaking every bone in her body as the memories crashed into her. She couldn’t stop the flashes of small ocean eyes, begging her for help.
Akadian dipped his head so his mouth was right next to her ear, and he whispered two words, “I know.”
He held her, soaking wet as she clung to his chest and screamed.
She failed Antony.
She failed Marybeth.
She failed Felius.
She failed them all.
