Page 38 of Strays
“I ended up with her parents. But they were the bad kind of religious people. From what you’ve told us, not much different from yours. They didn’t want to raise an aegis. So when they heard about the Program, they gave me up in a heartbeat.”
I feel movement. It takes me a minute to realize Jo’s switching places with Jay to be closer to Shane. I think she’s hugging him, or touching him somehow, because I hear his voice, soft and surprised.
“Thank you.”
It feels like a good sign how easy it was to talk to her. But it’s not a topic any of us enjoy, and I’m more than ready to leave it behind.
“What’s your favorite movie?” I ask her.
“Hmm…” she mutters, thoughtful. “I don’t think I have one. I love zombie stuff. Movies, shows, anything.”
“Really?” Jay chuckles, surprised. “I never would’ve guessed.”
“What about you guys?” she asks.
“Face/Off,” I answer without hesitation.
Jo laughs. “Isn’t that the weird one where they switch faces?”
“Yeah. That one,” Shane confirms.
She laughs harder. “You’re kidding. That’s really your favorite movie?”
“In this pack, we don’t speak badly of Face/Off,” Jay says, dead serious.
Jo’s still laughing. “I can already tell movie nights are going to be interesting.”
My heart stutters a little at the way she saidmovie nights. Like she’s already imagining a future with us. I can’t see my brothers' faces, but I’d bet they are smiling just like me.
After a while, she breaks the silence again, but this time her voice isn’t playful. It’s hesitant and serious. “What about kids?”
“I want them,” Shane says bluntly.
“We all do,” Jay adds. “But it’s up to you whether we actually have them or not.”
We talked about it a few times, and we all want to be something we never had growing up: fathers. We want to raise kids of our own, to give them what we missed. Let them grow up surrounded by a pack of dads who show up, who protect them. Let them have biological brothers, and see them form a pack easily and naturally, without the pain and desperation we went through.
I know it’s not the most noble reason to want kids, but I want them badly enough to do everything I can to become the kind of father who makes up for bringing them into this messy world for my own selfish purposes.
But if she says no, we’ll live with that.
Her voice is still uncertain when she finally answers. “I want them too. Just… not yet. I still have three years left in my medical residency. And it’s not just the insane hours. I want to focus on my career right now. So I can’t think about kids for the next few years.”
“It’s okay,” I say quickly. “We don’t have to rush anything.”
And it’s true. Just knowing it’ll happen someday is enough. I can wait.
We all fall silent again, until she sighs and whispers, “You guys smell so good. I don’t think I’ve ever… It’s green and dense, like I can almost taste the birch. Like walking through the woods right after it rains.”
My smile stretches. “You smell like lilies. It’s the best thing I’ve ever smelled in my life,” I tell her.
“Lilies?” she asks.
“Yeah,” Jay replies. “Just floral and fresh.”
She lets out another long, slow sigh. And after a while, her breathing deepens, quiet and steady, as she slips into sleep.
I drift off a little later, her scent wrapped around me, just like I always dreamed.
